BTS to collaborate with The Chainsmokers for their upcoming comeback


Oh boy. I was not expecting this at all.

It was recently announced that BTS will be collaborating with duo The Chainsmokers for their upcoming comeback. The duo helped with the production of the album track titled ‘Best of Me’ along with the rap line of BTS.

While I’m not the biggest fan of The Chainsmokers (I’ve given a few of their tracks some listens and they’re okay), I’m hoping that this collaboration won’t be a wasteful one. The Chainsmokers are popular, but their songs sound similar to each other so I’m afraid that ‘Best of Me’ will sound like all them other Chainsmokers songs. The only hope that I’m hanging on to is the fact that the rap line also participated in the production of this track so knowing how talented (and picky) they are about their music, I don’t think this collaboration will disappoint. Or at least I hope not.

It’s a good thing that the collaboration is for a side track and not the title track. I’m already quite disappointed with this news, but I can put up with it simply for the fact that the collaboration is just for an album track that included the participation of the BTS members and not the title track. Would I have liked it better had the collaboration not been on the album? Definitely. Lol. Am I really surprised that the two groups collaborated? Not really because they were seen at the BBMA’s together so talks of a collaboration was definitely up in the air. But who knows, maybe things will turn out okay and both BTS and The Chainsmokers will receive recognition for this collaboration.

BTS is set to make their comeback on September 18 (JUST 10 MORE DAYS Y’ALL. 10 MORE DAYS OF TORTURE AND WAITING).


BTS releases the rest of the album concept photos for their comeback

Yesterday BTS blessed us all with some concept photos from the ‘L’ and ‘O’ versions of their albums so they continued the blessings by teasing us with concept photos from the ‘V’ and ‘E’ versions of the albums, completing the teaser pictures series for all 4 versions of their albums.

‘V’ and ‘E’ have such a different vibe from the pictures of the ‘L’ and ‘O’ versions. They seem a lot more fun, picturing the boys at an arcade or having the boys pose in colorful and vibrant colors. While I enjoy the new pictures that we were spoiled with, I still definitely prefer the ‘L’ and ‘O’ versions because of its soft, dreamy, and fragile vibes that it gives off. If I had to buy the album (in which I’m tempted to do — I’m just waiting for the release of the album itself), I think I would probably buy the ‘L’ version of the album.

Now that BTS has released the pictures, what’s to come next are teasers and videos. I’m so scared knowing that there’s only 10 days left until their comeback. I honestly don’t know what to expect so I’m nervous and scared, but I absolutely cannot wait. A part of me wants them to come back faster because I miss them so much, but another part of me also wants them to take longer to come back because I won’t be able to handle their perfection and beauty. The struggles of being a fan, eh?

BTS is set to come back on September 18 with the first part of their new concept ‘Love Yourself: HER.’

BTS releases album concept photos for ‘Love Yourself: HER’ comeback

(the ‘O’ version of their album)


BTS released their first set of album concept photos for comeback ‘Love Yourself: HER’ and omg, they’re all so so pretty. They truly are proving to be the visual kings because THEY. ARE. ALL. SO. PRETTY.

I don’t even have any other words to describe them because it’s self-explanatory – they’re so beautiful and pretty in all the teaser pictures released so far. The album concept photos revealed today are the first set of photos for the ‘L’ and ‘O’ versions of their albums. BTS’s comeback will have 4 different albums: ‘L’, ‘O’, ‘V’, and ‘E’ so the album concept photos for ‘V’ and ‘E’ will hopefully be released soon (like as if in tomorrow). If I had to choose my favorite between both versions so far, I think I like the ‘L’ version a little bit more than the ‘O’ even though both are incredibly beautiful and mesmerizing.

(the ‘L’ version of their album)

The album concept photos kind of remind me of f(x)’s ‘Pink Tape’ album concept photos in a way. This entire album and comeback is going to be soft (from the looks and sounds of it so far) so I can’t wait to see what BTS’s new album is going to sound like. Rap Monster shared with fans that since the completion of their album he’s listened to the entire thing and he’s excited to share it with the rest of fans. I can’t wait for that day to arrive as well. For now, I’m just going to enjoy these concept photos and cry over Jimin’s ‘Serendipity’ comeback trailer that I am still not over (and will most likely never get over).

Source: BTS’s twitter account

BTS’s Jimin wants to love you in first comeback trailer ‘Serendipity’

Yes Jimin, you can love me as much as you want. I’ve been waiting for you.

You can probably imagine how painful and difficult it was for me to watch, listen, and finish this comeback trailer. The first comeback trailer for BTS’s comeback confirmed for September 18 was recently released and as they’ve done in the past with their former comebacks, BTS released a trailer consisting of the intro in their album.

Titled ‘Serendipity’, the intro is sung by a vocalist this time (whereas before it had been usually done by the rap line) and this vocalist is none other than my BTS bias of 4 years and my second ultimate bias in all of K-Pop, Park Jimin.

‘Serendipity’ is not your typical K-Pop song that you hear. It’s different, it’s beautiful, it’s haunting. Jimin’s vocals perfectly matches the softness of the track and creates a tone that is mellow and soft. It’s short enough so the song actually never falls flat and gets boring, but it’s long enough to the point where there are many different layers to the song that it once again never falls flat or gets boring. Best of all, the track does a wonderful job in highlighting Jimin’s beautiful (and underrated) vocals requiring him to sing differently than what we’re used to hearing from him in BTS’s songs. Here he gets the intro track all to himself and he’s able to showcase the different sides of his vocals.

Upon having discovered that a comeback trailer was released, I actually had no expectations for it. Having been an ARMY since BTS’s debut, I no longer remain afraid or surprised when BTS releases something because well.. they’re always releasing something. So I went ahead and watched the comeback trailer with no expectations and then was blown out of the water when I saw my Jimin and ONLY Jimin throughout the entire video. He was so soft and so fragile and so beautiful; he was able to showcase not only his beautiful vocals as heard with the song (that I might add Rap Monster wrote the lyrics to) but was also able to demonstrate to everyone his beauty, his visuals, him. He was so effortlessly cute and beautiful the entire video. I loved it so much and ever since the release I have not stopped listening to ‘Serendipity.’

The comeback trailer makes me even more excited for BTS’s comeback. I’m always excited for them because they’re one of my two bias groups in K-Pop and they always constantly deliver with every comeback so I am positive that ‘Love Yourself: HER’ will be no different, but the ‘Serendipity’ comeback trailer just raised my excitement and anticipation a few hundred levels higher. The comeback trailer made me even want to pre-order BTS’s ‘HER’ album which I know I shouldn’t do because I should save my money, but the comeback trailer was so damn persuasive and really made me want to order the album lol. I will probably end up buying the album anyways when more information about it gets released later on this month, but I was so close to pre-ordering it upon having watched the comeback trailer. Oh Jimin, the things you do to me.

More teasing is on our way since BTS’s comeback date is creeping up on us more and more quickly. I know I said earlier that I wasn’t afraid, but in actuality I am. I don’t know what to expect or how the boys are going to look or most importantly what their hair color is going to be. They’ve been wearing wigs to trick fans and they’ve even been hiding their hair colors by wearing bucket hats to cover their hair. I’m most excited for their album because if ‘Serendipity’ already sounds like heaven then I cannot wait to see what the rest of the album is going to sound like. It’s going to be beautiful, it’s going to be great, and BTS is going to dominate with this comeback. They’re going to snatch all the big awards at the end of the year and I will be there to witness it all. Get ready.

Source: ibighit @ youtube

Happy 21st Birthday to BTS’s loving and adorable maknae Jeon Jungkook!

jjeonguk @ tumblr

This is my first birthday appreciation post in a while (I think I last did it for Jimin maybe 2 years ago?) and for a good reason: today is BTS’s maknae Jungkook’s 21st birthday (20 internationally but 21 domestically)! I just wanted to give him a little shout-out and celebrate this special special day with him.

Jungkook isn’t my bias in BTS (obviously), but I will always have a special spot in my heart for him. I was there when he was a teenager, having debuted at the young age of 15. Fast forward 4 years later and he’s grown so much as a 20-year old. In a way, I will always see and remember him as BTS’s maknae more than anything and a part of me also feels like a proud mother watching her baby grow up. I watched him transition from a quiet, shy, and awkward teenager during BTS’s debut to a full-on confident, talented, and improving young adult now. A part of me is sad because he’s grown so much and he knows so much now; he’s out-going and loud and talkative and funny and he makes his hyungs laugh all the time. He’s changed a lot over the years for the better. As much as he’s changed personality wise, he’s also grown and improved musically and artistically as a member of BTS. He was always the main vocalist from the start and he still is now (more so than ever), but he’s improved in the way he sings, performs, and dances.


Jungkook is such a talented and adorable person and although he might stress the other members out in a jokingly way, at the very bottom of his heart he has a looooottttt of love for them and cares for them deeply. On the outside, fans seem him as the Maknae who is a meme king and loves to joke around and have fun and do wild and ridiculous things, but we also know him as the youngest member who takes care of his brother-like members and listens to them well. I often say and think this, but Jungkook is a kid at heart and he’s an innocent, naive, and kind kid who still has a lot to learn as he gets older.

LOOK AT HIMMMM. This was when fetus Jungkook went to LA pre-debut for some dancing lessons 😦

If there was one characteristic or trait about Jungkook that I love and appreciate the most, it would undoubtedly be his hard-working mentality that he carries with him everywhere he goes for everything that he does. He works so hard and he pours all his efforts into anything that he does. Whether it’d be singing, performing, dancing or other hobbies like surfing, playing the drums, or learning Japanese just to name a few, he always tries his best and he doesn’t give up so easily. To him, he challenges himself and he always want to be better at things and improve on his skills and abilities. There are many many things that I love about our Jungkook, but I think his willingness to learn and improve and how hard-working he is in doing that is what I enjoy the most about Jungkook. He never settles for less and he does what he puts his mind into. Sometimes he doesn’t like giving up so much that he keeps going and he tries too much or too hard which can be overwhelming and as a fan you ponder why he’s trying so hard, but this trait is one of his biggest strengths.

Jungkook is my second bias in BTS (after Jimin) and I’m pretty confident that he will never take over Jimin (it’s been 4+ years now and Jimin has remained at the top), but I have very fond memories of him and that’s why he remains second on my bias list. He’s incredibly dorky and quirky, he loves making faces and doing things that are meme-worthy, he’s extra as hell, and sometimes he can be a lil shit to his older members, but at the end of the day, he’s a kid at heart and he loves making others happy.

credit: yourpinkpill @ tumblr

Now that he’s 20 years old, he’s officially a young adult (he was an adult since he turned 18 but ya know what I mean.. he’s entered the 20’s) so I hope that he’ll continue to be just as hard-working as he was and always has been. I hope that he’ll remain happy and healthy and that he continues to soar even higher than he is right now and achieve a lot more success individually and with BTS. I’m proud of our little kid who used to be so shy and awkward and quiet but who has now transitioned into being the most annoying, loud, and embarrassing child.


You’ve grown up a lot Jungkook. I’m proud of you. Please never change and stay as you are right now. Thanks for always making me laugh, cry, roll my eyes, and everything else in between. Thanks for being so courageous and brave, having moved from your hometown of Busan to Seoul in pursuit of your dreams. You’re a talented and gifted individual and I hope that one day you get to achieve your goals and dreams. I hope you enjoy your 21st birthday and get to spend it with your loved ones because you absolutely deserve it. But also, please don’t grow up too too fast okay? 😦


[Discuss Away!] BTS September comeback thread~


Okay, at this point I’m just gonna make a single thread for BTS’s comeback and update this post continually as we get more updates on their comeback. Because we all know how much BTS and Big Hit loves scaring teasing us, that only means more updates so I might as well makes a thread instead of 19328493843 separate posts about BTS.


After releasing a teaser of Jungkook, Big Hit went ahead and released a million more photos (all in the same day I might add) but this time of the other members. The images are beautiful, sentimental, and emotional, hitting you in the feels because the boys look amazing and great. On each individual teaser photo are quotes but what they pertain to is yet to be solved (it’ll probably always be a mystery considering how much BTS loves to keep things a secret from us).


I’m not a big theory person so I haven’t read or kept up with any of the theories in relation to this comeback project nor any of their past comebacks (to be honest I actually don’t care for the theories that much. I kind of miss it when BTS wasn’t all about the theories). With this comeback, ‘Love Yourself’ is a project that will extend into the next year so it’ll be something similar to ‘The Most Beautiful Moment in Life’ back in 2015 (and there are theories/rumors that ‘Love Yourself’ is related to HYYA) so we’ll see what happens this time. Actual teasers for BTS’s comeback in September has yet to be released as ‘Love Yourself’ is the overall concept so maybe there might be 2-3 comebacks that fall under ‘Love Yourself.’ Whatever it is, that just means more theories which I’m not a big fan of but more BTS which I’m all here for so I guess things work out in the end (I guess).


OKAY BUT WHAT IS THIS. Why are the words “i’m fine” and “save me” on Rap Monster and V’s movie poster. And why is Jimin and J-hope facing each other in their poster (does this mean more dancing?? BECAUSE I AM HERE FOR THAT). There have been discussions about how this is a project that other artists and groups will also be participating in respectively so maybe this isn’t only a BTS project exclusively done by them?


JUNGKOOK WHY ARE YOU IN THE HOSPITAL? What did Yoongi do to you? And why is Jin looking like a model? He looks like he could be in ‘Legend of the Blue Sea’ and I would totally watch it.

More updates will be posted in this thread as Big Hit releases more stuff for us. It’s gonna be such a scary, gruesome, and exciting time now that September is approaching. If the teasers are already like this and all we’ve gotten so far are just photos, just imagine what the MV teasers and trailers will be like! WHAT ABOUT THE MUSIC?! Omg, I’m not ready at all just thinking about these things. I’m scared.

[8/13/2017 UPDATE]

13 June YEAR 22

After returning from that sea, we were all alone.

Like it was all set, we didn’t contact each other. We only assumed the existance of each other from the graffiti on the streets, the gas station lighting brightly, the piano sound from the old building. Every time like that, the afterimage of that night came back to haunt me like a phantom. Taehyung’s pupils that blazed with fire, all the eyes that looked at me as if hearing an unbelievable story, Namjoon’s hands that stopped Taehyung, and me who couldn’t endure and threw my fists towards Taehyung.

After Taehyung ran away, we couldn’t find him, no one stayed at the seaside dorm after returning. The broken glass cup, the bloodstain that was starting to get clotted, the crumbled snack pieces, they only reminded us of what happened few hours ago. A photo fell down then. It was the photo we took at the sea, smiling together.

I passed by the gas station today. One day we will meet again. One day we will smile together like we did in that photo. One day I will gather the courage to face myself. But now, it is not the time yet. The humid wind blew today, just like that day. And the next moment, my phone rang like a warning. The photo hanging on the mirror of my room was shaking. Hoseok’s name appeared on the screen.

“Hyung, Jungkook got into an accident that night.”

Wow, okay. So we finally have some context as to what finally happened, but I am still very confused nonetheless. Honestly, this is just the tip of the iceberg and there are so many more things that has yet to be revealed. Like why was Jin and V fighting each other? What happened to Jungkook? How did he get into an accident? These theories are driving me nuts, especially since I’m not that into them. I’m just expecting a lot more tears, pain, angst, and sadness though once the MV teasers are released. And then when the music releases, it’ll be a thousand times worse.

And also, BTS be living in 2022 while we’re still here in 2017. Like wow, take me to the future with you BTS. I hope I’m still here with you when the year 2022 arrives (omg why did I say that? Now I’m getting emotional and I wanna cry. It doesn’t help that I’m listening to a piano version of 4 O’ Clock. NOOOOO. Why did I do this to myself?).

So yes, I’m expecting quite a lot of tears with this comeback.

[8/14-8/16/17 UPDATE]


Since the start of all of this teasing I’ve been waking up to new teasers for this comeback so now I’m paranoid whenever I wake up because I know Big Hit has released something and it gives me a heart attack lol. I never know what they’re gonna throw at us and it honestly makes me so scared so I have to prepare myself ahead of time. Haha. With that being said, Big Hit released 2 movie teasers for us and it stars some girls (SAY WHAAAAT?).

I’ll be honest, I was afraid BTS was going to turn the past 2 years of hard work and effort they put into their comebacks into a cliche romance plot with this first trailer. I would understand why they would go that route ($$), but I would definitely be disappointed if they did do this just because they were doing something so different that no one’s ever done before. Plus, the boys were exploring concepts of self-discovery, mental health, depression, trauma, healing, etc. that was so refreshing and different so to see female characters in the trailer just seemed like they were going to throw all of that away by justifying everything with love and romance. Even as someone who didn’t care about the theories and never followed it, I didn’t want BTS to do something so boring, cliche, and mundane.

But then they released a second video teaser and maybe things won’t be that bad. It seems like Big Hit might know what they’re doing. I’ve been seeing fan theories be thrown around here and there and some people have been theorizing that the females are actually reflections or guardians of the boys which I can see happening. It’s random for BTS to start using girls in their comebacks for romantic purposes so maybe this might be the underlying reason why they’re in this teaser. Regardless, it’s interesting seeing the roles that the girls play with these teasers and I’ll admit that I actually like Hobi’s girl the best (she and Hobi’s couple dance was so cute!).

There’ll be more teasers so this roller coaster isn’t exactly done yet. While I’m enjoying the teasers (in a painful way), I also want to know when Hobi’s mixtape is coming out. That’s the real question. Out of all this teasing, he’s the one doing the most teasing.

BTS releases first comeback teaser by releasing an image of Jungkook in a wheelchair


Ohhhh boy, the teasing has begun.

Here I am just waiting for J-hope’s mixtape to be released anytime now while catching up with Bon Voyage Season 2 only to find a new teaser image of Jungkook released. I don’t know how to react or feel. Their comeback isn’t until next month?? Why is Jungkook in a wheelchair??

BTS hinted that the concept of their next comeback was going to be about ‘loving yourself’ and with the newly released teaser it seems like they will indeed be going through with this message. I am all for this because I believe that the message of loving yourself is one of the most strongest but simple beliefs you can ever have and I’m a strong advocate in always loving yourself. With that being said, I’m looking forward to seeing how BTS is going to convey this message. Seeing Jungkook in a wheelchair, I’m assuming that something probably happened to him (e.g.: car accident or he maybe has some kind of disease). I think it’d be cool if we got an individual member film/short MV or something (similar to their ‘Wings’ solo MV teasers/trailers) and the teasers showing each member loving themselves after whatever hardship and challenge they go through, but if we just get one MV in the end I’m totally cool with that too (I’m always down for anything BTS to be honest).

Of course, I’m still waiting for J-hope’s mixtape to be released first. Rap Monster and BTS had hinted that his mixtape would be the next activity for BTS so I’m just waiting knowing that it can drop anytime soon (hopefully). I just hope J-hope’s mixtape will be released soon and that it’ll receive enough time for a little promotion + recognition/appreciation for J-hope. I really would not want BTS’s comeback promotions to overlap with J-hope’s mixtape. Please let the little guy get his time in the spotlight for once. Please T___T

BTS is confirmed to make a comeback in September of this year. Just one more month to go. You already know the next few weeks is gonna be a wild ride and that only means more posts of me screaming on this blog. It’s only gonna get crazier from here on out.

Source: BTS_twt

BTS aims for a comeback in September + J-hope to release his mixtape when?!

source: yoonmin@tumblr

This is ultimately really great news. In fact, it’s wonderful. It’s amazing. These kind of announcements are what I live for; they keep me alive and they make me happy. But at the same time, they stress me out a lot and I find myself in constants screaming and tears. One of my ultimate bias groups, my loves, my inspiration, my happiness, my family – BTS – is going to make a comeback in about a month. IDK HOW TO FEEL?!

Big Hit announced not too long ago that BTS is currently gearing for a comeback in September. Originally the comeback was planned for August but had been pushed back (thank goodness). Despite the delay, I’m happy and excited regardless for their return and I’m actually happy that they’re not coming back in August, even if that means waiting a little bit longer for their comeback.

source: fyeahjunghoseok@tumblr

The boys finished their 5-month world tour earlier this month in July so I’m glad that they’re finally getting some time to rest and relax which they absolutely deserve. They’ve been using the time to rest ever since with news of Jin, Jungkook, and V in Jeju Island a few days ago and J-hope hanging out with his friends just earlier this month.

Because BTS is so hot right now and is the breadwinner in Big Hit, I can understand why Big Hit would want to milk BTS as much as possible and have been doing so the past few years. I think it’s a good thing that BTS is actually coming back this year. This comeback will help solidify their status and position in the competitive K-Pop industry even more considering that they haven’t had an official comeback this year yet (I don’t really count YNWA as a comeback since they only promoted it for a week before embarking on their world tour). With all the competition in the industry right now, a comeback will allow BTS to maintain that success and hype that they have worked so hard in building up for themselves over the years. But at the same time, because BTS is so popular right now there’s also a lot more pressure to do better than their previous comebacks. ‘Wings’ was exceptional and was another career defining moment for the group so I feel like everyone’s eyes are on BTS right now waiting to see what they have in store next, fans and non-fans alike. Along with the notable BBMA’s award win and successful world tour, BTS has been growing at an exponential rate so it’ll be interesting to see what kind of concept and music they come back with.

source: kths@tumblr

The members talked a little bit about how they were even preparing for the album while they were on their world tour and while I disapprove of this because the boys were already doing enough on the world tour, that just screams dedication and passion if anything. One can tell that the boys are really taking this comeback seriously and putting all their effort into it like how they’ve done with their past promotions. I’m also glad that their comeback was postponed to September just because 1) I wanted them to get more rest and time to themselves 2) the comeback might have been rushed and not as strong as their previous ones which could have hurt their careers. So it’s good news to hear that BTS’s comeback is in September instead of August as originally planned even if that means having to wait a little bit longer.


Another reason why I’m thinking BTS delayed their comeback is so precious sunshine J-hope has more time to work on and promote his mixtape (aka hixtape as fans have been calling it). He’s been mentioning talks of his hixtape for the past few months and has been working at it hard especially the past few weeks since the end of the world tour. J-hope’s been teasing fans with pictures and whatnot so fans are dying and screaming and crying because we don’t know exactly when his hixtape will drop. In fact, many are worried that he’ll drop it at a time while they’re asleep (AND I TOTALLY AGREE which is why I’ve been waking up at 8am every morning now since that’s when it’s midnight in Korea when he might release it then). Ugh, the wait is pure torture and the thought of not knowing when it’s going to drop is scary. J-hope hinted that he was planning on releasing it in July, but there’s not many days left in this month so it could drop anytime soon or maybe he’s postponed it to August since BTS’s comeback has been postponed.

Regardless, I’m excited and hyped for the mixtape but I am also just as nervous for it. This has been a project that J-hope has always wanted to do and has been working on non-stop the past few months and it’s all finally coming together. I’m so proud of J-hope because his journey in BTS hasn’t been an easy one and he’s the last rapper out of the rap line in BTS to release a mixtape. There’s probably some pressure on J-hope to reach the same level of success that Rap Monster and Suga has with their individual mixtapes respectively, but I hope this pressure doesn’t get to J-hope too much and that no comparisons are made between the mixtapes. I sincerely hope instead that fans will learn to appreciate all three of the mixtapes and the songs, lyrics, and stories the members presented in them. They’re all different and great in their own ways.


Through the hixtape, I’m hoping a lot more people will learn to appreciate J-Hope. He’s probably one of the least appreciated members in BTS and is a pretty hidden member in every area that he’s exceptional in (rapping, dancing, and even singing). Just like the other members, he also deals with issues of self-esteem and lack of confidence which is why I think he’s been working on this mixtape for so long. He wants it to be nearly perfect so he might be working on it little by little to perfect everything as much as possible. I want him to take as much time as he needs to work on this mixtape so that he’s satisfied with it. Of course I think he will still have regrets about certain things with the mixtape even after it’s released and will share with us what those regrets are and what things he could have done better. But I want J-hope to know that him putting out another mixtape is already a huge achievement and accomplishment in itself and is another defining moment for his career. This mixtape is his, is for him, and is by him. It’s about his stories and experiences so as long as he’s satisfied with it then that’s all that matters.

(So I actually watched this for the first time the other day while I was at Target waiting for my sister because I had never seen any of the short films/teasers for the ‘Wings’ comeback. I at first thought this was the teaser for the hixtape so I almost screamed and cried in the store but luckily I found out that it wasn’t. I almost had a heart attack)

J-hope gave us a preview of the types of issues he’s gone through as seen in his short film teaser for the ‘Wings’ album with ‘MAMA’ so I’m expecting J-hope to talk about some of these things in his mixtape (and I hope he does). If he does, it’ll be different from how we usually see J-hope who’s known as the moodmaker and the happy virus of BTS. He’s always so positive and energetic and always has a smile on his face (omg at the Wings tour in Anaheim, he had a smile on his face every time). But because J-hope is also human, there are days and times where he’s gonna go through stuff and he won’t always be happy and energetic and that’s totally okay.

In a way, I do hope to see him talk about things that are important to him – be it family, mental health, depression, anxiety, expectations, etc. J-hope does not always have to be happy just because his stage name implies that and I don’t want him to feel pressured and burdened to always carry that image with him everywhere. I want him to be okay with just being himself and being mad or angry or sad in life because that happens in life and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’m also hoping that just like Suga did, J-hope releases music videos for a few of his songs (maybe that’s what’s taking so long for him to release his hixtape + because he’s working hard on it). I just know that his hixtape will blow us all away and no matter how much we prepare ourselves for it, we won’t ever be really prepared for what he has prepared. He’s gonna be rapping and dancing and staring through our souls in these MV’s and it’s just gonna be so great (OMG JUST IMAGINE WHAT THE MV’S WILL BE LIKE IF THE ‘MAMA’ SHORT FILM TEASER FOR WINGS IS ALREADY A MASTERPIECE!!).


I’m not a morning person so I usually don’t wake up early to do things, BUT BTS and J-hope has been the exception. I’ve been waking up earlier and earlier to check for news of J-hope’s hixtape to the point where I think I might not even sleep anymore. Just kidding, but I’m highly anticipating J-hope’s hixtape and BTS’s comeback. Right now, I’m in a position where I care more for J-hope’s hixtape though because it’s about time that he gets his time to shine and the opportunity to showcase his many talents and skills. I just hope his spotlight won’t interfere and overlap with BTS’s comeback or become shortened because of BTS’s comeback. I just want Hobi to receive the same amount of love and shine that he constantly gives and shines down on us fans. I want everyone to turn Hobi-biased after the release of his hixtape. He deserves it and so much more.

Source: ibighit@youtube, ashleygold25@youtube

[Let’s Talk] BTS’s Jin & Big Hit: Why Big Hit can and should do better #WeWantSeokjin


As many of y’all know by now, I’m a huge fan of BTS and have written several appreciation posts about them and basically run my blog talking about how great, talented, and wonderful they are and even my Tumblr account is dedicated to basically BTS. However, as much as I love the boys and will continue to love and support them, there are also things about the group and especially about their agency Big Hit Entertainment that I have issues and concerns with that I definitely think needs to be addressed and resolved.

Before I go on to make my points, I’d like to acknowledge that I am not blaming any of the BTS members for anything that’s happened or is going on and never will, but rather am pointing out the mistakes and mistreatment that Big Hit has caused the past four years. So yes Big Hit, this one is for you.

To make this short, BTS’s Jin is probably the least appreciated and underrepresented member in BTS. He receives the least amount of lines in their songs and has the least amount of screen time in their music videos. Then not too long ago, a banner that CJENMMUSIC released on their youtube channel excluded Jin which only made things worse than they already were and made many fans (especially Jin stans) upset and frustrated. Many Tumblr posts have already talked about this so I won’t say much, but I just want to reiterate that Jin is a living angel who deserves better. He deserves everything good in the world. He pours so much of his time and effort into making ARMY’s happy and making others smile and feel good about themselves – all at the expense of himself and his own pain. He suppresses his feelings and emotions of neglect and hurt just so he can make others happy. He believes that as long as he makes other happy then everything is okay and in the process forgets about himself and how he should also be happy as well. It’s just so so sad – that someone as precious, loving, angelic, kind, and caring as Jin has to pretend that everything’s fine and has to fake how he truly feels so as to not make fans worry and concerned. But for how much longer is he going to be like this? And for how much longer are fans going to pretend like everything is okay when it’s actually not and are going to continue ignoring this issue?

Having been into K-Pop for the past decade, something that I’ve always been careful about are the images that entertainment companies feed fans in regards to how every group is a “family” and all entertainment companies are one big happy family who are super close and have great relationships with one another. It’s all just this false image and concept that companies demonstrate and throw out to fans to gain money and fans and honestly, some companies have done a great job in doing that. They have done a successful and effective job in persuading fans to think that their entertainment company is one huge loving family and whatnot. I’m a bit of a realistic person so I’ve never bought into this concept and image and I probably never will because I’ve learned over the years how K-Pop entertainment companies operate and function within the industry. But going back to this concept of companies being ‘families’, I would say that although some companies push this image and concept a little bit more than others, Big Hit is no exception to this concept. I think the general conception of Big Hit is that they’re a great company because they allow the BTS members to express themselves, their stories, and their experiences through their music in which they have. BTS has mentioned that they do have that ability and freedom to use their songs and music as a platform of expression and I’m grateful that Big Hit provides them those opportunities. However, I also think it is just as important and crucial to view the other side and stories of Big Hit that is not known or viewed often regarding how they treat the BTS members. Some of these things might have been in the past and some will argue that one needs to just move on as these things happened in the past and things have changed now, but in all honesty, we never know what’s going on behind the cameras. And this extends to all of K-Pop and not just Big Hit and BTS, but everything that happens on camera differs heavily from what happens behind the camera. So although BTS might seem happy and fine on camera, who are we to think that they are also happy and fine off camera… because chances are they probably are not all the time. It’s important to not view Big Hit as this angelic company who has never does anything wrong and have never mistreated the members because they probably have and are still doing so – especially to Jin. Yes, Big Hit has allowed the members to create their own music and write lyrics to their songs and has really given the boys opportunities to open up and grow as artists which makes fans believe that they’re this really great company, but it’s also important to not be fooled by this image and to only believe that Big Hit has never done anything wrong or knows everything. Because Big Hit and BTS has fed this image consistently to fans over the years, that’s how many people has come to viewing Big Hit which then makes them become blinded to all the other aspects of Big Hit that are not so positive or great but that’s not how it should be. Big Hit is an entertainment company and at the very end of the day, just like all other entertainment companies, they are a business who care about money, making profit, and surviving in the tough and competitive K-Pop industry and will do whatever they can to achieve that.

That’s not to say that Big Hit isn’t a smart and effective company because they are. They are one super smart and creative and intelligent team. I actually think they’re one of the smartest and most intelligent companies in a very long time. They knew what they wanted to do with BTS from the very beginning since BTS’s debut with the whole youth concept and have executed that concept throughout the last four years up until now and even into the future. They were able to consistently put out great music, music videos, and performances that aligned with the concept of youth and protecting the youth against society and societal injustices and issues – a tactic that is rare to see in the K-Pop industry. Unlike other entertainment companies who decides when to give their groups and artists comebacks and promotions that are random and don’t necessarily focus on any one concept, Big Hit has certain plans in mind for BTS and knows what they wanna do with the group. They probably have plans for BTS in 2030 already planned out because they work that far ahead and know well ahead of time what they want to do with the boys. They have an agenda, vision, and idea set out for BTS and then execute it accordingly which I think is super smart, effective, and time-efficient. It’s even easier because then with this one concept that BTS has, Big Hit only has to focus on making music and MV’s that align with this one concept and then go from there. They don’t have to worry as much about what types of concepts and music they need to create for BTS for every comeback because they already know that the huge overall theme that BTS focuses on is about ‘youth.’ So with one overall theme in mind, it makes it easier for them to come up with new music and MV’s to meet that concept and theme and allows for greater overall consistency across all songs and MV’s. Compared to other entertainment companies who give their groups and artists random comebacks with random concepts and songs, Big Hit knows what they wanna do with BTS and focuses on the concept of ‘youth’ that BTS has done from the very beginning which I think is super smart and effective.

However, because Big Hit knows what they wanna do with BTS, they will do whatever they can to accomplish those plans. I think my biggest pet peeve with Big Hit (among many) has definitely got to be them overworking the boys over the course of the last 4 years and giving them a small amount of time to rest or just relax. I mean with BTS’s most recent world tour that they just recently finished, they were constantly working and doing something. While on their world tour, BTS was also promoting Japanese ‘BST’ in Japan and traveling back and forth to promote the single. And then they were even filming for Bon Voyage Season 2. They were doing so many things in between their world tour it just made me baffled that Big Hit would make them do multiple things at once as if doing concerts (sometimes back to back) around the world wasn’t hard, difficult, and exhausting enough. On top of that, making them travel back and forth to Japan to promote BST and then having them film BVS2 and then doing tons of interviews in between and then having them even work on their next album as well as work on preparations for BTS Festa – the boys were probably dying and so so exhausted (as evident in their interviews tbh). I know this was a tactic that Big Hit used in the past to promote BTS which is why they are so popular the way they are now. Big Hit was continually putting BTS out there with new music and MV’s and basically working them at every opportunity they could get and then eventually building off of that foundation and success so I can see why Big Hit felt the need to continually push BTS out more and more a few years back when they were still not that popular. But with how BTS is now, I would like it if they could just have a break and not have to worry about making music or doing photoshoots or interviews or anything else. I feel like the members don’t really have any time to just relax; they’re always constantly working. If they’re not preparing for a comeback or doing promotions for a comeback (which is already exhausting and tiring enough), they’re either promoting in Japan, holding concerts or showcases in other countries, doing photoshoots, or filming commercials and other things. They never really catch a break and while a part of me is proud to see them everywhere and is proud to have been there and witness them work their way up, I also do think they’re at a point in their careers where they can afford to take a break and not have to worry about being replaced or threatened by other potential up and rising groups. They can afford to make 2 comebacks per year and just do minimal activities in between without doing any heavy promotions. In fact, a wish of mines is that they would stop making continual comebacks and instead take the time to rest and enjoy themselves or appear on variety shows as it would be another good way for the members to maintain that momentum, popularity, attention, and respect within the K-pop industry without having to work too hard. And I know the boys love making music and they enjoy making music which I am in full support of, but I also do wish to see them do other things outside of music such as variety shows where they can have the opportunity to showcase their personalities and become more popular and respected by their Sunbaes and Hoobaes or even take a step in radio DJing or acting. I’m not sure if it’s because Big Hit doesn’t have as much of a strong connection to other people in the industry or if it’s just because they rather have BTS focus primarily on music because that’s what the members themselves want, but it’d be a nice change to see the boys do something else and to venture into other components of entertainment that we don’t often get to see them in. We all know they have the personalities fit for variety shows, rap line can definitely rap, dance line has the skills to showcase their dancing, and Jin and V have the acting skills and visuals for dramas. I think it’s about time that they are given the opportunities to showcase them. I think it’s ironic that Big Hit doesn’t put the members out onto variety shows more because 1) they can definitely afford to do so considering how demanding and popular the boys are right now 2) they have the talent and personality 3) other entertainment companies use variety shows as a tactic and method to push their idols and groups out there to gain more exposure and popularity. It’s admirable that BTS was able to become popular primarily through their music and performances, but I’d like to see Big Hit do things differently and not be afraid to take risks and changes and try new things.

That brings me to my next point which is that Big Hit has been pretty much doing the same thing with BTS the last 4 years which is why Jin is so heavily underrepresented and undervalued in BTS by both Big Hit and ARMY’s. Big Hit has created this formula of success for BTS and so they’ve been playing it safe by continuing this formula and not necessarily going out of their own ways to try new things because they’re afraid of failure or bad results. They give Jungkook majority of the lines in their songs, rap line usually gets their own verse, Jungkook or Jimin is usually in the center of the choreography, etc etc. And this has worked for BTS in the past when they were still not as popular and were still trying to get their names out there which I understand, but now that BTS is growing and becoming increasingly popular, I think Big Hit can afford to experiment with the group and do things differently without having to worry that BTS will fail or won’t succeed. BTS has already built such a solid and strong foundation and fanbase for themselves that they can try new things and see what else works for them or not without losing any popularity (in fact doing the same thing over and over again might actually hurt BTS in the long run as it might get boring and too familiar for some). I want to challenge Big Hit to try new things and to venture out of what they are familiar with, meaning give Jin (and Jimin and V more lines) and more screentime in their music videos. It’s obvious that Big Hit has been pushing Jungkook to be the center/visual of BTS ever since their debut by giving him main acting roles in their MV’s as well as the majority of the lines in almost every song and making him the center of their choreography. Once again, I don’t blame Jungkook for being pushed so much by Big Hit because it’s not as if he wants it and there’s nothing he can do about it. He’s only doing what Big Hit wants and is only doing what he is being told to do; in fact, I think if he had a choice he would rather prefer to not be the center of attention so much because of the huge amount of pressure, burden, weight, and even hate that he might get taking on such a pivotal and crucial role in BTS. I understand that Jin might not be the best vocalist and dancer, but he is still a member regardless and he should be appreciated. Okay, fine, maybe he’s not the strongest in singing and dancing so I can try to see why Big Hit would not want to place emphasis on Jin in those areas. However, if he’s not the strongest in singing and dancing, then give him opportunities where he is strong and where he will shine – aka his acting (which he literally majored in college). Especially as the visuals of the group, he should be taking on the main character roles in their MV’s, he should be the center of their choreographies as other visuals do in other groups respectively, and he should definitely have a lot more screentime in their MV’s. But Big Hit just doesn’t do any of that nor do they care and they’ve been treating Jin like this the past 4 years. They’ve never really taken the time to support Jin so he had to do things himself to promote himself. Big Hit was not paying any attention to Jin that he had to come up with new ideas to promote himself and bring forth more visibility as a member of BTS because Big Hit – who should be the one responsibility for doing this – wasn’t doing their job as an entertainment company in promoting Jin. I know that entertainment companies are biased and have favorites with certain idol members in groups and market those who stand out more (hence certain members being visuals/centers), but wouldn’t they also want all the members of the group to be as popular as they can be? Wouldn’t Big Hit want all the members to shine and excel in the areas that they are the strongest in because that means more popularity and more $$? I think if given the opportunity, Jin could really shine and hit it big and give BTS even more of the recognition and love that they already have now. But it’s just that he hasn’t been given that opportunity yet by Big Hit which is why no one knows of his many talents and skills and why he’s in such a bad situation in BTS. It makes me so sad when I think about how Big Hit treats Jin because he literally has killer visuals/looks (which is not the only thing he is though). He’s by far one of the most handsome idols ever and I just don’t understand why Big Hit doesn’t capitalize on that. Jin has a wonderful voice and his dancing has definitely improved over the years, but he might not be the strongest in those areas so Big Hit might not want to place him in the forefront in those two areas which I can see and understand, but if Jin literally has the face of an angel and has the acting skills to go along with that, I don’t understand why Big Hit just doesn’t give him the chance to prove himself. Jin has it all going for him and the only thing holding him back right now is Big Hit which is sad and frustrating because it shouldn’t be that way. Jin’s entertainment company that he rejected SM Entertainment for should not be the enemy that is holding Jin back and preventing him from blossoming. It should not be that way. Instead, Big Hit should be the one that is pushing Jin forth and giving him endless opportunities to prove himself in acting, singing, dancing, and much more. And he definitely has the skills and personality for variety shows as well, but it confuses me as to how hesitant Big Hit has been in giving Jin those opportunities to shine. Sometimes I think about what it would have been like had Jin not reject SM and had debuted with SM instead. I could totally see him as a member in EXO and he’d probably be the visual if he had chosen to be in SM instead to be honest. SM would have capitalized the shit out of Jin had he been in SM so it doesn’t make any sense as to why Jin – who was scouted by one of the biggest Kpop entertainment companies – continues to be neglected by Big Hit. If a company as big and smart as SM saw something in Jin and wanted him, you would also think that Big Hit would see the same value in Jin as well but they don’t and they haven’t and it honestly scares me that they never will. But it just doesn’t make any sense.

Honestly, I don’t even think fans are asking for much. The first small thing we would like is for Jin to be given more lines in their songs because he has a wonderful and beautiful voice that should be heard more often. I don’t think that’s asking for too much, but yet Big Hit refuses to do so and continues to give Jungkook the majority of the lines for their songs. Jin is often hidden in the back for BTS’s choreography and dances and is rarely ever in the center (which is ironic because he’s a visual and as a visual he should be in the center even if he isn’t necessarily the strongest or best in dancing) so would it hurt Big Hit if they just maybe allowed Jin to be in the center for just a chorus? (But at the same time a part of me feels like Big Hit isn’t even acknowledging that Jin is the visual and instead is pushing forth Jungkook more as the visual of BTS). It’d be great to see Jin venture out into other aspects such as acting not only in their MV’s but also in Korean dramas which would do wonders for him, BTS, Big Hit, and pretty much everyone. Jin did not go to college and major in acting so he wouldn’t get to act. But if Big Hit doesn’t give Jin something as simple as lines in their songs then I don’t think we can expect to see him anytime soon in other areas unfortunately.

Jin has been treated like this for the past 4 years since their debut and unfortunately it has never gotten better over time. He came into Big Hit with the hopes of achieving his dreams of becoming an actor and singer, but unfortunately Big Hit has failed him tremendously. They neglect him by giving him a few seconds to sing, placing him in the back of choreographies, and giving him only a few seconds in their MV’s. I know this must be so frustrating and sad for Jin; he talked about it in ‘Awake’ (in which I must mention his lyrics got rejected 20 times before finally being accepted) and how he might never live up to the potential that the other members are given but it’s okay with him. I also think that his position as the eldest in BTS might play a role in this as he doesn’t want to be shown complaining because he’s the oldest and he doesn’t want to be seen as weak but rather as someone who’s strong and caring for the younger members so he holds everything in and pretends to be fine even if it’s at the expense of his own happiness and health. It’s really sad especially when you consider that this has been going on for the past 4 years since BTS’s debut. Nothing has changed then and nothing has changed now and if Big Hit hasn’t done anything about this for the past four years, I don’t think anything will change unfortunately. But not all hope is lost and fans have the most power and say in all of this and if enough fans unite to complain and bring about awareness to this issue, I think Big Hit might finally start to do something about it and improve the situation for Jin and BTS, but this is already difficult enough with the fandom being heavily divided and disjointed. There’s so many things that Big Hit can do and improve upon to make BTS even more successful than they are now and I can only hope that they will hopefully be okay with experimenting and trying new things as they should. If the rap line are given opportunities to record and release mixtapes, give Jimin and Jungkook (+ J-hope) the opportunities to showcase their dancing, and Jin and V the opportunities to act in dramas and participate in variety shows. I’m grateful that they’ve given the members opportunities to express themselves through their music and allow them to travel around the world and do collaborations with legendary artists and whatnot because not all groups are given these opportunities and not everyone is fortunate enough to do amazing things like this, but all of this is done at whose expense? At what cost? I think that’s what fans should reflect and be critical about. Yes, we’re being fed well by Big Hit and BTS, but who’s suffering because of all of this? And can anything be done to change and improve the situations that they are in? And that answer is yes, there definitely can be improvements made to strengthen the success and future of BTS. There always is, and there always will be. But it has to start with Big Hit and we need to let Big Hit know what they are and aren’t doing well.

Appreciation Post: Bangtan Boys/BTS (pt. 2) #4YearsWithBTS



*sigh* Oh Bangtan.. the things you have done to me…What have you done to me?! /cries/

It’s been a while since my last appreciation post for BTS so I’m back with another one. I believe it’s been 2 years since I’ve last written an appreciation post for them on this blog and A LOT has happened within the last two years with both their music career as well as my experience as an ARMY so I thought it’d be good to post a new appreciation blog for them and provide an update on how I feel about them now to mark my progress and experience as an ARMY.


In addition, today marks the 4th year since BTS has debuted on June 13, 2013 meaning it’s been 4 years since I’ve been with them! There are many many things to celebrate and commemorate and appreciate so I’m gonna try my best to write all those things I appreciate in this post.

It’s gonna be very challenging and difficult to write down everything about BTS that I’m proud of them for, that I want to say to them, that I love and appreciate about them so this post won’t fully engulf and encompass everything, but I guess that’s just what happens when you have too much love for a group of 7 talented, goofy, amazing, hardworking, and humble guys right? You just don’t know where to start?


Since their debut 4 years ago, BTS has come a long way. They have come a very long way. 4 years ago they could barely gather 2,000 people to attend their concerts and fanmeetings. They were practicing and training endlessly for as long as 3 years with group member changes and additions without a hint of success or debut in sight. Just repeating the daily routine of training that they were so used to and hoping that they would debut one day and be able to stand on stage with the music that they were making. When I think back about how hard BTS had it or how much they were going through and then seeing where they are now, my heart hurts seeing just how bad it was for them years ago (b/c they’re my babys and I never want them to have to go through any pain or hurt or sadness) but also a sense of warmth also keeps me calm knowing that all their hard work has paid off. 4 years later here they are winning awards and daesangs and finishing up their sold-out world tour and being the first K-Pop group to ever win an award at the BBMA’s. There are so many accomplishments that BTS has achieved since their debut and although I can’t list every single one in this post because there would be too many and that would take a little bit too much time, they’ve grown and have done so much and as an ARMY who’s been there since the very beginning with their debut, I couldn’t be any prouder.

As my earlier blog post mentioned, I had the privilege, chance, and amazing opportunity to see BTS live at concert for their Wings concert in Anaheim, LA (I still can’t believe I saw them to this day tbh). During the concert, Rap Monster mentioned about how BTS only had 2,000 fans during their concert 2 years ago and 2 years later here they are performing at sold-out concerts all over the world. It’s a huge accomplishment for them, especially they were able to do this within a time span of 2 years since their last concert tour. For BTS, success definitely did not come easy just as how it doesn’t come easy for other groups, but especially for BTS who came from a small company, debuted at a time when the K-Pop music industry was already over-saturated as it was with new and existing idol groups, and didn’t have much to begin with, they had to work even harder to get to where they are now. And it was through this hard work and determination that they were able to win daesangs and gain millions of fans throughout the world. Sometimes words can’t describe the process and journey that BTS had to go through to get to where they are now. For Rap Monster and Suga who were the starting members of BTS, they were so poor and they barely had any money and they were struggling to live and to make money and to buy food and were dealing with mental health issues and depression, but a few years later and here they are making hella money and being able to afford luxurious food such as lobster and steak in the United States. Hard work does pay off and for BTS they’re finally seeing their hard work come to life. As an ARMY of 4 years, you feel a sense of happiness and joy in seeing them happy and successful. I’m also really proud of how far they’ve come, because they’ve worked so hard to get to where they are now and I wouldn’t have wanted things to be any other way. What’s meant to be will happen and BTS was meant to be this successful and important in many people’s lives.

Individual Members:

Speaking about BTS as a whole makes me wanna cry, but I get even more emotional just thinking about what I appreciate about each member because they’re all so precious and BTS wouldn’t be BTS without each of them. #7-1=0


Jin: I really appreciate just how goofy, clumsy, and free Seokjin is. He doesn’t hold back anymore and he always so freaking extra but I absolutely love that about him. He doesn’t try to fit himself into this (false) image that people might have of him and he doesn’t act like someone he’s not; he acts like himself and he’s not afraid to embarrass himself (or the other members). He’s true to himself and to his fans and he acts the way he wants to which I appreciate. He’s proud of his dad jokes and he takes pride in being the oldest of BTS and he’s okay with not being the best dancer of BTS. It’s so refreshing to see someone like Jin be proud of himself and to be confident in his looks (he has every right to be proud of his looks cus damn boi be looking hella fine all the time) and to act like himself, because often times in the K-Pop industry, all people care about are their looks and their image which then places them into this box where they end up acting in certain ways to fit the image that people has molded of them or that they have of themselves, but for Seokjin, he really doesn’t care about any of that and he is just himself (aka he’s not fake). On camera, his ‘extra-ness’ might him look childish or immature, but I’m pretty sure as the oldest of the group, he also takes really good care of the other members. He feels this sense of responsibility to look over the other members, to cook for them, to drive them places (aka taking Jungkook to high school when our maknae was still attending school), etc etc. so he might seem kiddish on camera but off camera I’m pretty sure there’s a mature side of him that we don’t often get to see. Seokjin is full of confidence and he loves himself and he accepts all his flaws and mistakes and I love that about him. Yeah, he might not be the best dancer in BTS but he tries his best and he’s continually improving and he still manages to catch up with the rest of the members in terms of learning and performing the choreography. Yeah, he might not be the best vocalist in BTS, but he has such a soft and alluring voice who can belt high notes if needed and who can sing with emotions and feels as demonstrated in ‘Awake.’ There have been complaints regarding Seokjin’s position in BTS and how he doesn’t really serve a purpose in BTS, but he is and does so much more than just the shallow conventional kind of roles and positions that is expected in idol groups. He is more than just his singing and dancing in BTS; he is BTS’s oldest member who takes great care of the other members by looking out for them and supporting them (not to mention the immense pressure and guilt he faces being the oldest of BTS). Honestly, we don’t even know everything that he does for BTS. He could (and probably is) doing so much more for them that we don’t know about or aren’t exposed to. Seokjin is so pivotal to BTS so no, he is not useless in BTS. Even if he’s not necessarily the strongest in singing and dancing (fuck your conventional expectations of singing and dancing being the only standards that determines talent in a group), that doesn’t mean that he’s useless and should be kicked out. Jin is needed in BTS every single way. And. He. Is. Important. ily jin. love me too pls.

Suga: Suga and I have had a very interesting relationship. In my fanaccount of my concert experience, I talked about how Yoongi was my least favorite member in BTS, but all of this changed ever since the concert. Ever since the concert, my perception and thoughts of Yoongi has changed positively. Before the concert, I didn’t really pay as much attention to him as I did with the other members and he was my least favorite member in BTS, but seeing him live and watching him perform changed everything. He performs with such passion and determination and intensity you can just feel his madness and the fire he spits out during his raps. You feel it, you see it, you can smell it – it’s amazing how much stage energy Yoongi has. His performance of ‘First Love’ was one of my favorite performances at the concert and I’m forever shook and changed by that performance because now I cannot listen to ‘First Love’ the same way ever again without thinking about his performance nor can I look at Yoongi the same way again. My level of appreciation for him has definitely increased significantly since the concert to where now I care for him a lot more and is taking a lot more interest in him and who he is (not that I didn’t before but you know what I’m saying). I’m not really sure how to articulate this change in appreciation; it just kind of happened and now I love Yoongi so so much more than I did before. I find myself attracted to him even more whenever I see him in videos or GIFs. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m a lot more attracted to him now and I find him a lot more charming as well. The way that he always wants to sleep or work on music are feelings that I definitely can relate to. I always want to sleep too and I love music so like there are things that I have in common with Yoongi (delusions aside). I appreciate how passionate he is with music, exploring and solidifying his identity as Agust D and now even composing for artists like Suran. He’s taking huge steps as an artist and musician, writing lyrics and helping produce songs not only for BTS but now for other people as well which is a huge stepping stone and a move that requires a lot of confidence and courage so I’m proud of Yoongi for doing this. It’s not easy to make music for others, much less make music in general, but he’s doing it and there’s a sense of pride that I feel as an ARMY knowing this. Yoongi isn’t the type to show his feelings or emotions so when I saw him breaking down during the MAMA Awards when BTS won the Daesang, it especially hit me because we often don’t get to witness that side of him. And it also made me really just think about how difficult and painful and doubtful times must have been for him and Namjoon pre-debut. They both endured years of training not knowing if they were going to debut, if they were going to make any money, if they were going to be successful, etc. Just imagine living with a few other members and going on with your daily routine of training for years while being clouded with thoughts of doubt and uncertainty and hopelessness. Yoongi went through a very rough and difficult time pre-debut. He sold albums on the streets before entering Big Hit and barely made any profit off of his CD’s because no one would buy from him. He wasn’t making any money so he got accepted into Big Hit and was able to develop and improve his skills in rapping, song writing, composing, etc. and look at where all of those years of devotion and investment and hard work has lead him to. He is now in BTS, successful as ever, and a lead rapper of this amazing group. I can’t even get started on his rapping as well. I’m not Korean nor am I an expert on rapping so I can’t say much about it, but I would like to believe that his rapping is exceptional and different. All I can say is you don’t want to mess with Yoongi when it comes to rapping because he is a beast. His rapping is out of this world. I cry when I listen to his verses in the BTS cyphers, because he’s just that good (I cry and scream internally when he raps). But yes, Yoongi is amazing throughout and I appreciate how courageous and determined he always is even when it seems like all odds are against him.


Rap Monster: It breaks my heart when I think about Rap Monster, because a part of me feels like he’s so insecure and doubtful about himself. He’s uncertain and doubtful about his lyrics, about the songs he helps produce, about his music, about everything he does and it pains my heart to see this because he’s amazing at everything and anything he does. He’s so talented, so intelligent, so creative, so charming, so attractive, and yet everyone sees this but himself. It’s obvious that he’s all of these things and so much more but himself. Rap Monster has so much potential and we’ve been fortunate enough to have witnessed that potential through BTS’s music, performances, concerts, videos, collaborations, etc etc and I wish Rap Monster wouldn’t think so badly about himself. I know (and he always talks about it) that he is always so constantly worried about being the leader of BTS. It’s such a huge weight on his shoulders and he feels insecure and doubtful about his leadership skills and his responsibility as the leader of BTS. He doesn’t know if he’s doing a good job or he feels as if he’s not and I want him to know that there are many factors and reasons as to why BTS is as successful and huge as they are now and I sincerely and honestly believe that Rap Monster’s position as the leader is one of those reasons that has contributed significantly to BTS’s journey to success. You don’t often explicitly see Rap Monster as the leader where he shoves it in your face that he’s the leader of BTS; his leadership I would say happens more behind the scenes whether that’s him writing lyrics for the album songs or during practices where he might lead and advise the members how to do certain things or in other situations which is why I remember watching a clip of BTS where they were about to perform and they were all huddled ready to get on stage and Rap Monster was talking to them about what they should do on stage and all the members looked at him and gave him their utmost respect and attention and I think it was in this moment that I thought to myself, omg I’m finally witnessing Rap Monster be the leader of BTS (I think it especially hit me when I saw Jin staring at Rap Monster and listening to him attentively b/c he’s the eldest of the group but he’s paying such great attention to Rap Monster). I remember at one point I was very in love with Rap Monster. I had completely fallen in love with him and I didn’t know what these feelings were b/c I never had any other feelings for the other BTS members other than for Jimin so here Rap Monster was swerving into my lane and I’m completely baffled and confused. But the reason as to why I was so into him at that time (I still am now but I’ve calmed down) was b/c this was around the time of the BBMA’s and seeing just how hard-working Rap Monster was being the representative of BTS and answering all the interview questions in english and translating the questions to the other BTS members so they wouldn’t feel left out as well and also understand what was going on and basically just representing BTS in another country in another language that is not his own made me so proud which is why I fell for him so hard. I wrote a tumblr post about this where I said:

1) i love how great of a leader he is

2) the way he talked in English so effortlessly and flawlessly (that he taught himself mind you) during all the 500000 interviews he did at the BBMA’s

3) the way he took care of the other members by translating to them the questions so they weren’t excluded and didn’t always feel confused and so they knew what was going on and could have some fun as well and so it wasn’t always just him talking

4) the inspirational things he said in his winning speech like how we should love ourselves (we know how much this means to bts themselves when majority of their songs is about this and to rap mon in particular who sings about it in ‘reflection’)


6) the way he always thanks ARMY’s (regardless of where they’re from) for everything every single time

7) the way he always remains hella humble even though bts just won an award at BBMA’s and was the first kpop group to ever do so (aka making history and maintaining that bts legacy) and how even though bts has gotten hella big over the years both domestically and internationally with their sold out world tours and now with the BBMA’s, he never forgets where he came from or how he got to where he is (mentioning in that one BBMA interview after they had won the award that bts and big hit started out small and weren’t big names in kpop back then)


but don’t misunderstand i will always have heart eyes for jimin but damn. kim fucking nam fucking joon tho y’all

And I told this to my friend and I remember her just texting me back like “MARY?! IS THIS YOU?! THIS ISN’T YOU YOU’RE NOT LIKE THIS” (b/c I only got eyes for Jimin ya know?) and it was just so funny because I also felt the same way. Like I don’t know why I was feeling this way for our leader and why i was caught up in these feels and i was so confused b/c I’ve never felt that way before for any other member LOL. But it was just funny and I wish Rap Monster would give himself lots of credit for being the leader of BTS and taking on such an important, heavy, and critical role in the group. I also noticed that Rap Monster also worries a lot about the future and in particular the future of BTS and where they’re gonna be a few years from now which is why I think he (and the rest of BTS) are so humble. They understand that yes, they have worked so hard to get to where they are now, but they could lose all of that at any moment so they work even harder and they appreciate the moments they are in right now. I would want Rap Monster to know that he is doing a wonderful job as the leader of BTS and I want him to love himself more and not be so doubtful and uncertain about himself because he’s amazing and he’s so talented and well-rounded. Like he said in his BBMA award speech, love myself love yourself. Please love yourself more Kim Namjoon :’)

J-hope: Oh no… I can’t write about Hobi. I just can’t! My heart hurts when I think about him. He deserves everything good in this world. He’s an angel. AN ANGEL AND HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE SAD OR MAD OR ANY OF THE SHIT THAT HE GETS. I don’t know what to say about him or where to start because there are so many wonderful things about J-hope that I love and appreciate. I think more than anything and this is quite obvious too b/c it’s implied through his name but I really appreciate just how energetic Hobi is and I think I came to appreciating this aspect of him a lot more after the concert. He was so energetic even though literally the night before BTS had also performed (b/c Anaheim was a 2-day stop) and that whole week had done interviews left and right and I’m pretty sure they were also practicing for the concert in between all of this. He was so energetic and gave every single performance his all and he was always constantly smiling and laughing and had a smile on his face. I literally saw the sunshine that day; I had never seen anything so bright before in my life. He performed with such energy and stamina it was out of this world. He performed as if that was his first time performing in like 6 months it was crazy. But that’s what I love about Hobi. He always puts all his effort into everything he does even though he might be really tired and even though BTS might have had hella schedules and events to do. He doesn’t let those things affect him and he tries his best all the time. I know that things have been really hard for Hoseok with people telling him to leave from BTS and that he was ugly which made him work even harder and placed him in a bad situation, but I would want him to know that he’s freaking amazing and he’s a born performer and I’ve never seen anything or anyone like him before. He’s truly different and I appreciate how hardworking and hopeful he remains despite having gotten stupid shit from people since his debut. Thanks for being the moodmaker of BTS and being the hope and sunshine that everyone needs every single day Jung Hoseok. I know it’s hard having to keep up with this image especially since there are times where you’re not always bright or hopeful and go through things, but you still try your best for us fans. I really appreciate and admire and love you for that. But please do take care of yourself as well because you are so important and crucial to BTS. We need you so you can continue to lead the members with the choreography and help them with the dances and advise them on what to do and not what to do or so you can keep saying funny jokes or do outrageous and silly things or freak out over things like snakes and bugs and ghosts. We need you so please take care of yourself my love.

V: Oh Tae.. oh V.. there are so many wonderful things about V I don’t even know where to start. He’s such a random and goofy and weird and ridiculous guy, but that’s what I love and appreciate about him. He’s seriously so random and does some of the most weirdest things ever or say some of the funniest things ever, but I think that’s what so unique and different about him. There’s always at least one member in every group who’s 4D and in BTS that happens to be everyone V. Just imagining what BTS would be like if V wasn’t in the group makes me sad and it just feels weird. As everyone knows, he was the “hidden member” of the group for some reason and he wasn’t exposed to the public until BTS’s debut got closer and closer. And I remember him talking about how he felt sad that he couldn’t talk to the fans or record any “logs” like how the rest of the members were doing b/c it was Big Hit’s plan to hide him until the very last second. Poor V. People didn’t even know that he existed until BTS’s debut. But now, here he is, standing on stage and performing throughout the world in different places and with different songs. I really admire him for his quirky traits and characteristics and his passion for fashion and art and music. It seems like he’s super into those things right now because he mentions about Gucci all the time or about how he’s into art and photography and it’s great seeing him be so curious and passionate about these subjects and topics. And I feel like V’s the type to devote all his time and energy into something he’s interested in which is what I admire about him (compared to me who has an attention span of like 2 seconds). Because of V, I laugh at his random and funny comments. I cry because he looks incredible on stage. I cry because he cries. And I smile because he cares and loves ARMY’s and BTS. He’s such a sweetheart. I also feel like he’s lowkey also innocent and naive but that might just be how I see him and maybe he’s not so innocent (wink wink). But yes, V is so precious and treasured and I love him to small bits. And pls, if you haven’t already listened to this song, please do yourself a favor and listen to it. Thanks.


Jungkook: Oh no, here comes the post about the one member I don’t want to talk about. I don’t even know what to say about Jungkook or where to start with this boy. He’s so freaking extra. LIKE YOU THINK YOU KNOW OR HAVE SEEN XTRA? SIT DOWN B/C YOU HAVEN’T. Jungkook is Jungextra and he’s so ridiculous and funny at times it makes me cry and go wild and go crazy. I can’t even handle him being so ridiculous and I’m only watching him through the screen I can’t even imagine talking to him and being extra with him. It’d be so much fun tbh. But omg, Jungkook is so adorable. I feel like a proud mother having watched Jungkook grow over the years. I first saw him in the “Graduation Song” MV with Jimin and Hoseok where he was so young, still extra, and didn’t know how to express his feelings and thoughts, but now he’s grown up to be very good looking, now emitting very seductive moves and looks on stage. Like why or how did this happen? I swear two seconds ago you barely spoke and then now here you are throwing pitches at a baseball game in Japan (this will be the biggest mystery of all time tbh). Like who are you? I feel hurt. But I am so proud of Jungkook. I think he’s grown tremendously personally/individually but also professionally. 4 years ago he didn’t want to sing for any of the BTS members and would actually cry if they kept asking him to and he didn’t talk and he was really shy and bad at expressing his feelings and then somehow I swear something must have happened and now he’s talking a lot more (uncontrollably) and he’s now showing a lot more aspects of his personality and who he really is to everyone. I lowkey miss his shy and quiet personality, but I also do really enjoy how he is now acting very wild and annoying and extra. It’s quite a show. For Jungkook, I will always have a soft spot for our Maknae. I think a big part of that is having seen him as a young kid mature and grow and develop into being the mature Maknae that he is now who constantly worries about his hyungs and cares about fans. He’s grown up to be such a wonderful person and he still remains humble and kind to this day, admitting that there are still many things he needs to improve on or like how he helped clean up trash after the ISAC event. It’s little things like these that I admire about Jungkook and I hope he never changes. He’s perfect the way he is.


(i had the hardest time picking a single photo for jimin b/c there were so many great ones i wanted to pick omg i spent so much time choosing a photo for him. i spent more time choosing a photo for him than i did on this entire post)

Jimin: I don’t really know what to say about Jimin. There are many things about him that I love and admire and appreciate. Sometimes words can’t describe or explain how I feel about him. Jimin over the years has gotten a little bit more reserved and quiet and although there are many reasons that could factor into that and although I really do miss how he used to be so explicitly silly and quirky, I still love him just as much now. I do miss his out-going and random and funny comments and personality traits and I think he’s still the same person, just not as often or explicit now which is totally okay. My little baby always feels so insecure and doubtful about himself and it pains me to see this because he’s so great at everything he does. He works so hard all the time to improve and to get better at singing, dancing, and performing among a variety of other things, but he doesn’t think he’s improving and so he stays stuck at the same place over and over again and he doesn’t see any improvement so he puts himself down and it hurts to listen to him say these things because he’s also grown so much. He puts in so much work, time, and effort into practicing and the results of all that practicing has shown and bloomed throughout the 4 years and will continue to show. In addition to his commitment and dedication into always improving and being a better version of himself than he is now, I also really appreciate just how supportive, caring, kind, and encouraging Jimin is. Countless amount of times, from BTS in AHL up to now, he’s also been the hypemaster of every BTS member. He continually supports them and compliments them and praises them (which makes sense as to why he would want the same in return). Jimin is my ultimate bias in BTS and my second bias in all of K-Pop and I remember just watching his live stage of “Lies” at the KBS Gayo Daejun and just thinking to myself like, wow, I picked the right member to stan. I made the best decision of my life by choosing Jimin as my favorite member in BTS. I was so proud watching that. His dancing has always been consistent and solid and powerful and great 4 years ago as it is now. I remember watching the special dance stage of him, J-hope, and Jungkook 4 years ago and being amazed and stunned and proud of Jimin who was getting the spotlight as main dancer of BTS in that special dance stage and then fast forward 3 and a half years later and here he is performing his solo song on an award ceremony and collaborating with legendary Taemin who also started off really young with great dancing skills. There were so many emotions I was going through when I was watching Jimin be in all these special dance collaborations and stages with other idols where he was not only getting to show his dancing talent and all the attention that came with that but he was also representing the rest of BTS and it was just a huge accomplishment and feat and I felt so proud. I always believed in Jimin’s dancing back then and I always knew he was a great dancer and I so wished for everyone else to also see that and to also notice how talented he was dancing and over the years he’s had little opportunities here and there to showcase them but the end of last year’s shows was really the one opportunity where maybe folks started to notice his dancing skills a little bit more b/c he was performing on stage with other idols and dancing to songs that weren’t BTS’s. Seeing all of this definitely just made me really proud and happy for Jimin because my baby’s dancing skills are finally being appreciated and shown to the rest of the world and he’s finally gaining recognition for something that he’s so passionate about and that I noticed since the very beginning. I know that he’s so insecure about many things, including his body and his looks and I don’t want him or the rest of BTS or anyone else to think that those things define who he is and how he should look like. I don’t want anyone making fun of him for his body and how he doesn’t have abs anymore and I don’t want him to think that way either. Sure, those things are great and are bonus points, but there are so many other things that actually matter and I am totally okay if he doesnt have abs. I actually don’t even care if he doesn’t have abs because I love him for who he is and his personality and his smile and all the other traits of him that makes up who he is. He’s so squishy and smol and talented and passionate and hard-working and he always cares about us fans as well and loves us so much and he’s just a perfect human being in my eyes. I will always have heart eyes for Jimin no matter what.

If I Could Say Anything to BTS // Dear _______,

taehyung: i know things have been a lot harder lately even though things have always been hard from the beginning. i know you try to pretend like everything’s fine so no one worries but a lot goes through your mind. i know you’ve been struggling to cope and process with your grandma’s passing and i’m so sorry my dear. my love. i know the pain. i understand the hurt. i empathize with the sadness that you’re feeling – the emptiness. i too lost my grandpa not too long ago who i also cherished and truly loved and was raised by. but i want you to know that in time things will get better. you don’t have to put up a front to act like everything’s ok if things aren’t. it’s okay to struggle; it’s okay that you’re struggling. that you’re not ok b/c sometimes you’re not always gonna be okay and that’s totally okay. take as much time as you need to yourself; to process your grandma’s passing. maybe you won’t ever be able to heal from the loss and that’s ok too. taehyung my love, you will be fine. i worry that you worry too much and is too sad and i don’t want you to be in continuous hurt. i wish for you to be happy too. just know that in time everything will be ok and everything will fall into place as it should be.

namjoon: i wish you wouldn’t blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault or is out of your control. i wish you wouldn’t be so insecure and doubtful about your skills, talents, and knowledge. i wish you wouldn’t underestimate how humble, intelligent, and creative u r. i wish you wouldn’t put yourself down and believe that you’re not a great leader. namjoon you are so much more than everything you think you are. i hope you realize how amazing and talented you are. YOU are the leader that bts needs. there are so many factors that have played a role in the success and journey of bts and your leadership is def one of them. so pls don’t discredit your role in this journey and instead give yourself some credit. i know there might be a lot of pressure for having to tackle the job of being the leader to one of kpop’s biggest boy groups who’s paving the road and foundation for many other kpop groups to follow, who continually makes history every single day. but you’re doing an amazing job at it so far and i need you to realize that. yes you might have made some mistakes in the past but you’ve grown and youve apologized and you know so much better now. bts wouldn’t be where bts is right now if it wasn’t for you who has helped with the composition and lyrics of many songs from debut up until now. you speak with such eloquence and wisdom, you always put the other members before yourself and is always thinking about them. you never want to take the spotlight so you give it to them instead. you communicate with fans all around the world and always mentions army’s where ever and whenever you can. you never forget about us but i hope that in the process of appreciating bts and army’s, you too don’t forget about yourself. b/c you play just as much of a critical and pivotal role in bts and i am so proud of you. so pls be proud of yourself as well my love.

Hoseok: Hobi you know you don’t have to always be smiling and energetic and happy if you don’t want to or don’t have the capacity to do so right? You know that just b/c your stage name is J-hope doesn’t mean that you always have to be someone’s hope or have hope yourself or believe that hope will always exist? You don’t have to carry the burden of being the moodmaker and energy of the group if that’s too much pressure on you or doesn’t accurately represent you. I hope you wouldn’t put too much weight and pressure on yourself just b/c that’s what’s expected of you and is what you’ve been doing the past 4 years since bts’s debut. it’s okay if you’re sad or mad or exhausted and if youre not always happy and energetic and hopeful. it’s totally okay. i will understand and so will others. i understand that there will be days where you won’t feel hopeful or you won’t feel happy and instead you’re gonna be sad or scared or doubtful about things. you’re probably gonna have a shitty day or something’s happened to you that makes you mad. and that’s okay. i don’t want you to stress over having this hopeful image just b/c it’s been assigned to you as if it’s something you absolutely have to do and follow and continue out everyday. b/c it’s not. you can do whatever you want and you can be whatever you want. you just being yourself – you just existing is already the hope and light to many people’s lives. you yourself is already enough my love. so please, don’t feel the pressure to be and do more than you’re already doing. you’re amazing my love.

Yoongi: i really admire you for not only your talent and passion that is clearly demonstrated in your music and performances. but i also really admire your ‘idgaf’ kind of attitude where you do whatever you want and say whatever you feel like saying. you kind of care less about how people feel and is more in tune to doing what you want or feel like doing and i admire and appreciate that about you. just knowing that you won’t change based on what people say about you b/c you know yourself more than anyone else or b/c you know that really the only opinion that matters in the end is yourself’s. i know that times have been hard especially with the past and you’ve really went through it all. you’ve worked so hard my love and you’re gonna continue to do great and amazing things. i can’t wait to witness that as i stay by BTS’s side. thank you for being such a passionate person, an intense rapper, a crazy good performer, a wacky BTS member, and for just being Min Yoongi.

seokjin: you must be really proud of your shoulders LOL. to have been born with such broad and strong shoulders and talk about them and show them off at every opportunity that you get. but that’s also the thing that i really love about you. you love yourself (even though there are times that you don’t which is totally ok) and that you are confident (vs cocky). i remember the one time where you mentioned about how it’s okay to be going through things and that you should never compare yourself to others; that just b/c someone else might also be going through things (things that are worse than yours) doesn’t mean that yours is any less significant or valid and that’s stuck out to me ever since i’ve watched that video. i live my life by that rule. since i’ve been in college i’ve practiced and emphasized on the importance of that — never invalidate yourself or your experiences. never compare yourself and your stories and experiences to anyone else’s. never think that just b/c someone else is going through rough or rougher times than you are that your issues and problems are invalid or that they don’t matter. b/c they do matter and you matter as well. so when you said that in the video, my love and appreciation for you grew so much more than it already had. in that moment i learned that you too understand this concept of validating your own experiences and existence and it meant so much to me b/c all my life i’ve always heard people tell me that i should place others before myself or ive’ heard people compare their hardships to mine and invalidate how i feel b/c they’ve gone through much worse or had it much worse than i did which made me feel bad and caused me to internalize so much negativity and perpetuate the cycle that i should always place others before me and the toxic thoughts that i dont’ matter or that i’m not going through anything difficult or challenging so i shouldn’t complain or i should just try harder. so kim seokjin, i’d like to thank you for the positive messages and words of encouragement that you continually give. they mean so much. although this one message is just one of the many wonderful messages you have given and you probably don’t even remember saying it, i still do and it honestly means the world to me to have heard from you a motto and concept that i live by and follow every single day. so thank you and thank you.

jungkook: although you are not my main bias in bts you are my second bias and i will ALWAYS have a soft spot for you. always. there’s just something about me having watched you transform from a fetus to a baby within the last 4 years and having witnessed you grow in so many ways that makes me proud and feel like i’m a mother watching her adorable little kid mature and grow and develop to be the amazing person that they were destined to be. i love how goofy you can be. i love how you always find ways to cheer the other members up. b/c you’re the youngest, you feel this pressure to impress your hyung’s and to act certain ways or to do things in a way that won’t bring any burdens onto your hyung’s. you care about them so much and you always talk about how sad you get when you see the other members sad or how much of an impact it makes on you when you see the other members beaten up and broken down. if anything this just shows how innocent and genuine and caring and kind-hearted you are. and i hope that nothing will ever cause you to change or that you will never change. i hope that you’ll stay this way for life my love. there are still so many things in life that you’ve yet to experience or to witness or know about and a part of me wants to protect you from the negativity and evil that goes on in the world b/c i don’t want anything bad to happen to you or for you to be negatively affected by anything. youre still so young and innocent and naive and have so many things to learn and have so many more ways to grow and so many more years to live and just knowing that you’ll be doing this with the rest of the bts members for the next few years warms my heart and makes me happy. thank you for always being so damn extra b/c although it can get really ridiculous it brings so much happiness and laughter into everyone’s life. thank you for always going out of your own way to make others happy and laugh and smile and feel better; thank you for always thinking about others and putting others before yourself. thank you for always being so humble and modest and admitting that you’re not great at everything (even though you really are) and for being so hardworking to improve on things that you feel you aren’t as strong in. thank you for being the maknae of the group and taking care of your hyungs. thank you for just being you jeon jungkook. you’re so precious and you must be protected at all times.

jimin: and i always save you for my last b/c you’re my first, last, and ultimate bias in bts who i will never betray and always remain loyal to but b/c you’ve claimed a spot as my second bias in all of k-pop (just after yoseob my hubby) which is a really great feat, can be difficult to accomplish, and is something that no other person has been able to do so yes park jimin, you should be proud of yourself. i don’t even know where to start with you. i first laid my eyes on you 4 years ago in the ‘no more dream’ mv and ever since then my eyes have always wandered to you and have never gone anywhere else. idk i think it was meant to be (LOL THIS IS SO CHEESY OMG BUT I GOTTA DO IT). you make me incredibly proud to be your fan, to stan you, to have chosen you as my bias in bts when there are 6 other amazing boys i could have chosen instead. but i chose you (okay i admit based on your looks and abs) after having gotten to know you better over the years and i don’t regret anything. i’m glad i chose you as my bias. i wouldn’t change anything. if i had to go back to watch the ‘no more dream’ mv like how i did four years ago and choose a bias, i would still choose you in the end. i know you have low self-esteem issues and you have a praising kink and you dont’ think that you’re good enough or don’t feel confident in yourself and it pains my heart to see this. jimin you are so great. pls tell me who were the people who made you feel this way b/c i will go and destroy them myself. i hope you receive the love and care and support and appreciation that you give to so many people. i hope you deserve all the good in this world and so much more b/c you are that worthy and important. i hope you would stop putting yourself down and stop thinking so negatively about yourself. i hope you’ll learn to love yourself in time slowly, one step at a time. i think a small draft that i wrote on my tumblr sums up how i feel about you:

dear jimin,

i hope you know you are loved. i hope you know that you are enough. i hope you know that you deserve the world and more than the world. you deserve everything. you deserve the best. you deserve happiness. laughters. smiles. tears of both happiness and joy.

it’s been about 4 years since my eyes have first laid upon you and i don’t regret anything that’s happened ever since then. my love for you from the very first time i saw you up to now has never changed. if anything, it has only grown for you even more. my love for you has strengthened and gotten louder over time.

you are so kind. and so sweet. and you care a lot. you care so much – too much maybe to the point where you become sensitive to things and you let it get to you. and i know. i know there are days that b/c you care so much about everything you struggle. and i know that b/c you care about so many things there are days that are much harder than others.

but jimin my love, do not be afraid. and do not be sad. for you are worth more than whatever people say about you. you are good enough and you will always be good enough. pls do not take to heart all the harsh and painful things people might say about you; they don’t know you like i do. they haven’t seen you in the raw and real moments like i have. they don’t even know you.

so i ask that you be strong. be strong for bts, be strong for army’s, be strong for your family and friends and for those who matter to you, but also pls, be strong most importantly for yourself. some days loving yourself will be harder than others and some days you won’t love yourself at all. there will be moments where you don’t love yourself and where all you can do is just attack yourself and put yourself down but jimin my love, i hope that on your journey to self-love and self-care and self-appreciation, you will kindly remind yourself that you are loved. that you are enough. that you are worthy. and that you are park jimin and no one can take that away from you. you are you; you are one of a kind. a star in the dark vast galaxy. the light that is ever so shining and bright.

i love you and i always will. this isn’t a farewell letter or note or anything. rather, it’s just my way of declaring my love for you in ways that i know will never reach you. but i do it anyways b/c i love you. you are precious and you are amazing.

dear jimin my love, i love you.

Everything in this letter still rings true. i love the way you smile, the way you sing, the way you dance, and yes, even the way you pull your hair back all the time with your hand. you’re so smol, so cute, but also really freaking seductive and sexy and hot at times and it drives me crazy. but it’s all these things and so much more about you that i love and appreciate. so i hope you never change and i hope you stay this way. i love you so much. so so much that sometimes words can’t describe or explain what i feel for you. i appreciate you in ways that i have never done with anyone else. you bring so much light and greatness and happiness into my life. i’m so grateful that i was able to have seen you with my very own eyes on April 2, 2017. hell, i was nervous af and i was shaking b/c i couldn’t believe that the person that i absolutely love and care and support was right in front of my eyes. but there you were right in front of me and i am truly blessed and one of the luckiest people alive to have seen you in person. i’m so grateful and blessed that i was able to be in the same place at the same time and moment as you; to have been breathing the same air you were breathing (ok that’s kind of creepy but you get what i mean) and to have heard you singing and performing to the songs that i love and listen to everyday. i am grateful to be alive. i am blessed by your existence and presence. so park jimin my love, i love you. thank you for being you. thank you for being true. thank you for being here.


This post took me weeks to start and complete so here is the end result — just in time for their 4th anniversary. God, it makes me surprised when I think about how it’s been 4 year since BTS’s debut. Time has passed by really fast (“time flows like stars”). The past 4 years has definitely had its up’s and down’s; the members went through a lot and had to deal with a lot shit from people and have gone through plenty of trials, errors, mistakes, failures, and even possible disbandment. It’s crazy to think about the BTS now vs. the BTS 4 years ago. Who would have known that the small BTS that debuted from a small unknown company 4 years ago who barely had the funds and money to support BTS would transform into being one of the biggest kpop groups right now setting trends and history left and right every single day? You just don’t think that’s possible because it’s rare to see a case like that nowadays in K-Pop. But for BTS, who literally placed all their blood, sweat, and tears both pre and post debut have hit the jackpot. They’re here now and they’re not gonna leave anytime soon. They were definitely rewarded for the hard work that they put into their music careers; hard work does pay off and BTS is the epitome of that.


Even though they’ve grown so much internationally and domestically throughout the years, I think the thing about them that I love, appreciate, and admire the most about them is just that they remain true to themselves. They never forget their roots, where they came from, and the struggles and challenges they faced pre-debut. Those sad and difficult memories are the things that motivate them to keep doing the work they’re doing and to keep them grounded despite having earned such great levels of success. They understand (and worry about often) that just because they’re successful now doesn’t mean they will always be successful; everyone will fall inevitably so for now they’re just focused on enjoying the present and the moments they’re surrounded with. They know that even though they’ve become so successful and have garnered worldwide love and attention, they’re gonna stay in Korea and continue to make music in Korea because that’s where they started and that’s what where they wanna end. That’s been their formula to success. And because they know how hard they worked to get to where they are now and how precious every single second is, they cherish it and they work even harder to maintain it and to keep these moments. A lot of feelings and emotions overcome me when I think about BTS because I know just how difficult and hard things were for them and how many people didn’t believe in them and made fun of them at their debut and didn’t think they were going to make it so seeing them so successful now makes me relieved and proud and happy but also in constant disbelief and surprise. They’re doing so great and amazing and I hope they continue to remain humble and modest and kind and in the midst of all their success and precious moments of life, they never forget their roots and where they came from. But I also have hope that they won’t take this time for granted because they’ve gone through so much so they’re gonna continue to remain grateful and appreciative of everything that’s happened to them.


To BTS, I love you all seven very very much and along with the rest of Big Hit staff, Bang PD, and everyone else at Big Hit, I want to thank you for existing and singing and dancing and making music, but most of all, for believing in yourself. For not giving up even though you really wanted to and even though times were really difficult that you did want to give up. Thank you for always working so hard even when you barely have any energy or stamina to keep you going. Thank you for always trying your hardest in everything that you do. Thank you for being you. It’s been 4 years that I’ve been with y’all and I don’t regret anything that’s happened. I’m actually grateful that I gave y’all a chance by watching the ‘No More Dream’ MV because I have experienced so much happiness ever since.


So BTS and ARMY’s, let’s continue to stay happy together for a very long time and to keep going. It’s only been 4 years, there are still so many more years ahead of us to live and experience. Let’s never betray each other and instead keep trusting and relying on each other for support and love like how we’ve been doing the past 4 years. Just like how I wish the friendships and relationship created in BTS lasts for an eternal life, I too hope this relationship between BTS and ARMY’s will never end. This journey hasn’t always been the easiest and it won’t be easy and it probably won’t get any easier and it probably won’t ever be easy, but I have faith that you BTS will be fine and will do great and if you keep doing what you’ve been doing the past 4 years, everything will be alright. So BTS, happy 4 years. Happy 4th anniversary. Let’s keep going. Let’s keep living. Let’s keep loving. And most of all, let’s keep flying together with the wings that were given to us.