Appreciation Post: Bangtan Boys/BTS (pt. 2) #4YearsWithBTS

 

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*sigh* Oh Bangtan.. the things you have done to me…What have you done to me?! /cries/

It’s been a while since my last appreciation post for BTS so I’m back with another one. I believe it’s been 2 years since I’ve last written an appreciation post for them on this blog and A LOT has happened within the last two years with both their music career as well as my experience as an ARMY so I thought it’d be good to post a new appreciation blog for them and provide an update on how I feel about them now to mark my progress and experience as an ARMY.

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In addition, today marks the 4th year since BTS has debuted on June 13, 2013 meaning it’s been 4 years since I’ve been with them! There are many many things to celebrate and commemorate and appreciate so I’m gonna try my best to write all those things I appreciate in this post.

It’s gonna be very challenging and difficult to write down everything about BTS that I’m proud of them for, that I want to say to them, that I love and appreciate about them so this post won’t fully engulf and encompass everything, but I guess that’s just what happens when you have too much love for a group of 7 talented, goofy, amazing, hardworking, and humble guys right? You just don’t know where to start?

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Since their debut 4 years ago, BTS has come a long way. They have come a very long way. 4 years ago they could barely gather 2,000 people to attend their concerts and fanmeetings. They were practicing and training endlessly for as long as 3 years with group member changes and additions without a hint of success or debut in sight. Just repeating the daily routine of training that they were so used to and hoping that they would debut one day and be able to stand on stage with the music that they were making. When I think back about how hard BTS had it or how much they were going through and then seeing where they are now, my heart hurts seeing just how bad it was for them years ago (b/c they’re my babys and I never want them to have to go through any pain or hurt or sadness) but also a sense of warmth also keeps me calm knowing that all their hard work has paid off. 4 years later here they are winning awards and daesangs and finishing up their sold-out world tour and being the first K-Pop group to ever win an award at the BBMA’s. There are so many accomplishments that BTS has achieved since their debut and although I can’t list every single one in this post because there would be too many and that would take a little bit too much time, they’ve grown and have done so much and as an ARMY who’s been there since the very beginning with their debut, I couldn’t be any prouder.

As my earlier blog post mentioned, I had the privilege, chance, and amazing opportunity to see BTS live at concert for their Wings concert in Anaheim, LA (I still can’t believe I saw them to this day tbh). During the concert, Rap Monster mentioned about how BTS only had 2,000 fans during their concert 2 years ago and 2 years later here they are performing at sold-out concerts all over the world. It’s a huge accomplishment for them, especially they were able to do this within a time span of 2 years since their last concert tour. For BTS, success definitely did not come easy just as how it doesn’t come easy for other groups, but especially for BTS who came from a small company, debuted at a time when the K-Pop music industry was already over-saturated as it was with new and existing idol groups, and didn’t have much to begin with, they had to work even harder to get to where they are now. And it was through this hard work and determination that they were able to win daesangs and gain millions of fans throughout the world. Sometimes words can’t describe the process and journey that BTS had to go through to get to where they are now. For Rap Monster and Suga who were the starting members of BTS, they were so poor and they barely had any money and they were struggling to live and to make money and to buy food and were dealing with mental health issues and depression, but a few years later and here they are making hella money and being able to afford luxurious food such as lobster and steak in the United States. Hard work does pay off and for BTS they’re finally seeing their hard work come to life. As an ARMY of 4 years, you feel a sense of happiness and joy in seeing them happy and successful. I’m also really proud of how far they’ve come, because they’ve worked so hard to get to where they are now and I wouldn’t have wanted things to be any other way. What’s meant to be will happen and BTS was meant to be this successful and important in many people’s lives.

Individual Members:

Speaking about BTS as a whole makes me wanna cry, but I get even more emotional just thinking about what I appreciate about each member because they’re all so precious and BTS wouldn’t be BTS without each of them. #7-1=0

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Jin: I really appreciate just how goofy, clumsy, and free Seokjin is. He doesn’t hold back anymore and he always so freaking extra but I absolutely love that about him. He doesn’t try to fit himself into this (false) image that people might have of him and he doesn’t act like someone he’s not; he acts like himself and he’s not afraid to embarrass himself (or the other members). He’s true to himself and to his fans and he acts the way he wants to which I appreciate. He’s proud of his dad jokes and he takes pride in being the oldest of BTS and he’s okay with not being the best dancer of BTS. It’s so refreshing to see someone like Jin be proud of himself and to be confident in his looks (he has every right to be proud of his looks cus damn boi be looking hella fine all the time) and to act like himself, because often times in the K-Pop industry, all people care about are their looks and their image which then places them into this box where they end up acting in certain ways to fit the image that people has molded of them or that they have of themselves, but for Seokjin, he really doesn’t care about any of that and he is just himself (aka he’s not fake). On camera, his ‘extra-ness’ might him look childish or immature, but I’m pretty sure as the oldest of the group, he also takes really good care of the other members. He feels this sense of responsibility to look over the other members, to cook for them, to drive them places (aka taking Jungkook to high school when our maknae was still attending school), etc etc. so he might seem kiddish on camera but off camera I’m pretty sure there’s a mature side of him that we don’t often get to see. Seokjin is full of confidence and he loves himself and he accepts all his flaws and mistakes and I love that about him. Yeah, he might not be the best dancer in BTS but he tries his best and he’s continually improving and he still manages to catch up with the rest of the members in terms of learning and performing the choreography. Yeah, he might not be the best vocalist in BTS, but he has such a soft and alluring voice who can belt high notes if needed and who can sing with emotions and feels as demonstrated in ‘Awake.’ There have been complaints regarding Seokjin’s position in BTS and how he doesn’t really serve a purpose in BTS, but he is and does so much more than just the shallow conventional kind of roles and positions that is expected in idol groups. He is more than just his singing and dancing in BTS; he is BTS’s oldest member who takes great care of the other members by looking out for them and supporting them (not to mention the immense pressure and guilt he faces being the oldest of BTS). Honestly, we don’t even know everything that he does for BTS. He could (and probably is) doing so much more for them that we don’t know about or aren’t exposed to. Seokjin is so pivotal to BTS so no, he is not useless in BTS. Even if he’s not necessarily the strongest in singing and dancing (fuck your conventional expectations of singing and dancing being the only standards that determines talent in a group), that doesn’t mean that he’s useless and should be kicked out. Jin is needed in BTS every single way. And. He. Is. Important. ily jin. love me too pls.

Suga: Suga and I have had a very interesting relationship. In my fanaccount of my concert experience, I talked about how Yoongi was my least favorite member in BTS, but all of this changed ever since the concert. Ever since the concert, my perception and thoughts of Yoongi has changed positively. Before the concert, I didn’t really pay as much attention to him as I did with the other members and he was my least favorite member in BTS, but seeing him live and watching him perform changed everything. He performs with such passion and determination and intensity you can just feel his madness and the fire he spits out during his raps. You feel it, you see it, you can smell it – it’s amazing how much stage energy Yoongi has. His performance of ‘First Love’ was one of my favorite performances at the concert and I’m forever shook and changed by that performance because now I cannot listen to ‘First Love’ the same way ever again without thinking about his performance nor can I look at Yoongi the same way again. My level of appreciation for him has definitely increased significantly since the concert to where now I care for him a lot more and is taking a lot more interest in him and who he is (not that I didn’t before but you know what I’m saying). I’m not really sure how to articulate this change in appreciation; it just kind of happened and now I love Yoongi so so much more than I did before. I find myself attracted to him even more whenever I see him in videos or GIFs. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m a lot more attracted to him now and I find him a lot more charming as well. The way that he always wants to sleep or work on music are feelings that I definitely can relate to. I always want to sleep too and I love music so like there are things that I have in common with Yoongi (delusions aside). I appreciate how passionate he is with music, exploring and solidifying his identity as Agust D and now even composing for artists like Suran. He’s taking huge steps as an artist and musician, writing lyrics and helping produce songs not only for BTS but now for other people as well which is a huge stepping stone and a move that requires a lot of confidence and courage so I’m proud of Yoongi for doing this. It’s not easy to make music for others, much less make music in general, but he’s doing it and there’s a sense of pride that I feel as an ARMY knowing this. Yoongi isn’t the type to show his feelings or emotions so when I saw him breaking down during the MAMA Awards when BTS won the Daesang, it especially hit me because we often don’t get to witness that side of him. And it also made me really just think about how difficult and painful and doubtful times must have been for him and Namjoon pre-debut. They both endured years of training not knowing if they were going to debut, if they were going to make any money, if they were going to be successful, etc. Just imagine living with a few other members and going on with your daily routine of training for years while being clouded with thoughts of doubt and uncertainty and hopelessness. Yoongi went through a very rough and difficult time pre-debut. He sold albums on the streets before entering Big Hit and barely made any profit off of his CD’s because no one would buy from him. He wasn’t making any money so he got accepted into Big Hit and was able to develop and improve his skills in rapping, song writing, composing, etc. and look at where all of those years of devotion and investment and hard work has lead him to. He is now in BTS, successful as ever, and a lead rapper of this amazing group. I can’t even get started on his rapping as well. I’m not Korean nor am I an expert on rapping so I can’t say much about it, but I would like to believe that his rapping is exceptional and different. All I can say is you don’t want to mess with Yoongi when it comes to rapping because he is a beast. His rapping is out of this world. I cry when I listen to his verses in the BTS cyphers, because he’s just that good (I cry and scream internally when he raps). But yes, Yoongi is amazing throughout and I appreciate how courageous and determined he always is even when it seems like all odds are against him.

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Rap Monster: It breaks my heart when I think about Rap Monster, because a part of me feels like he’s so insecure and doubtful about himself. He’s uncertain and doubtful about his lyrics, about the songs he helps produce, about his music, about everything he does and it pains my heart to see this because he’s amazing at everything and anything he does. He’s so talented, so intelligent, so creative, so charming, so attractive, and yet everyone sees this but himself. It’s obvious that he’s all of these things and so much more but himself. Rap Monster has so much potential and we’ve been fortunate enough to have witnessed that potential through BTS’s music, performances, concerts, videos, collaborations, etc etc and I wish Rap Monster wouldn’t think so badly about himself. I know (and he always talks about it) that he is always so constantly worried about being the leader of BTS. It’s such a huge weight on his shoulders and he feels insecure and doubtful about his leadership skills and his responsibility as the leader of BTS. He doesn’t know if he’s doing a good job or he feels as if he’s not and I want him to know that there are many factors and reasons as to why BTS is as successful and huge as they are now and I sincerely and honestly believe that Rap Monster’s position as the leader is one of those reasons that has contributed significantly to BTS’s journey to success. You don’t often explicitly see Rap Monster as the leader where he shoves it in your face that he’s the leader of BTS; his leadership I would say happens more behind the scenes whether that’s him writing lyrics for the album songs or during practices where he might lead and advise the members how to do certain things or in other situations which is why I remember watching a clip of BTS where they were about to perform and they were all huddled ready to get on stage and Rap Monster was talking to them about what they should do on stage and all the members looked at him and gave him their utmost respect and attention and I think it was in this moment that I thought to myself, omg I’m finally witnessing Rap Monster be the leader of BTS (I think it especially hit me when I saw Jin staring at Rap Monster and listening to him attentively b/c he’s the eldest of the group but he’s paying such great attention to Rap Monster). I remember at one point I was very in love with Rap Monster. I had completely fallen in love with him and I didn’t know what these feelings were b/c I never had any other feelings for the other BTS members other than for Jimin so here Rap Monster was swerving into my lane and I’m completely baffled and confused. But the reason as to why I was so into him at that time (I still am now but I’ve calmed down) was b/c this was around the time of the BBMA’s and seeing just how hard-working Rap Monster was being the representative of BTS and answering all the interview questions in english and translating the questions to the other BTS members so they wouldn’t feel left out as well and also understand what was going on and basically just representing BTS in another country in another language that is not his own made me so proud which is why I fell for him so hard. I wrote a tumblr post about this where I said:

1) i love how great of a leader he is

2) the way he talked in English so effortlessly and flawlessly (that he taught himself mind you) during all the 500000 interviews he did at the BBMA’s

3) the way he took care of the other members by translating to them the questions so they weren’t excluded and didn’t always feel confused and so they knew what was going on and could have some fun as well and so it wasn’t always just him talking

4) the inspirational things he said in his winning speech like how we should love ourselves (we know how much this means to bts themselves when majority of their songs is about this and to rap mon in particular who sings about it in ‘reflection’)

5)  the way he looked HELLA ALMIGHTY DAMN FIIIIINE AT THE BBMA’S WITH THAT HAIR THOSE LIPS THAT FOREHEAD (HNGGGG FOREHEAD IS MY WEAKNESS) THOSE DIMPLES THAT SMILE LIKE NAMJOON PLS HAVE MERCY i beg U

6) the way he always thanks ARMY’s (regardless of where they’re from) for everything every single time

7) the way he always remains hella humble even though bts just won an award at BBMA’s and was the first kpop group to ever do so (aka making history and maintaining that bts legacy) and how even though bts has gotten hella big over the years both domestically and internationally with their sold out world tours and now with the BBMA’s, he never forgets where he came from or how he got to where he is (mentioning in that one BBMA interview after they had won the award that bts and big hit started out small and weren’t big names in kpop back then)

LIKE IDK WHAT ELSE NAMJOON IS GONNA DO THAT’S GONNA MAKE MY HEART SWAY LEFT AND RIGHT UP AND DOWN SIDE TO SIDE UPSIDE DOWN AND UP RIGHT AND I’M SO FUCKED B/C THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE WITH NAMJOON BUT I’M NOT EVEN GONNA TRY TO FIGHT IT ANYMORE AND JUST ACCEPT IT AND GO ALONG WITH IT AND SEE HOW LONG THIS WILL LAST AND WHERE THIS WILL GO B/C EVERYTHING HE’S DONE UP TO THIS POINT HAS GOT ME SO WHIPPED FOR HIM AND HE’S SO GOD DAMN ATTRACTIVE

but don’t misunderstand i will always have heart eyes for jimin but damn. kim fucking nam fucking joon tho y’all

And I told this to my friend and I remember her just texting me back like “MARY?! IS THIS YOU?! THIS ISN’T YOU YOU’RE NOT LIKE THIS” (b/c I only got eyes for Jimin ya know?) and it was just so funny because I also felt the same way. Like I don’t know why I was feeling this way for our leader and why i was caught up in these feels and i was so confused b/c I’ve never felt that way before for any other member LOL. But it was just funny and I wish Rap Monster would give himself lots of credit for being the leader of BTS and taking on such an important, heavy, and critical role in the group. I also noticed that Rap Monster also worries a lot about the future and in particular the future of BTS and where they’re gonna be a few years from now which is why I think he (and the rest of BTS) are so humble. They understand that yes, they have worked so hard to get to where they are now, but they could lose all of that at any moment so they work even harder and they appreciate the moments they are in right now. I would want Rap Monster to know that he is doing a wonderful job as the leader of BTS and I want him to love himself more and not be so doubtful and uncertain about himself because he’s amazing and he’s so talented and well-rounded. Like he said in his BBMA award speech, love myself love yourself. Please love yourself more Kim Namjoon :’)

J-hope: Oh no… I can’t write about Hobi. I just can’t! My heart hurts when I think about him. He deserves everything good in this world. He’s an angel. AN ANGEL AND HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE SAD OR MAD OR ANY OF THE SHIT THAT HE GETS. I don’t know what to say about him or where to start because there are so many wonderful things about J-hope that I love and appreciate. I think more than anything and this is quite obvious too b/c it’s implied through his name but I really appreciate just how energetic Hobi is and I think I came to appreciating this aspect of him a lot more after the concert. He was so energetic even though literally the night before BTS had also performed (b/c Anaheim was a 2-day stop) and that whole week had done interviews left and right and I’m pretty sure they were also practicing for the concert in between all of this. He was so energetic and gave every single performance his all and he was always constantly smiling and laughing and had a smile on his face. I literally saw the sunshine that day; I had never seen anything so bright before in my life. He performed with such energy and stamina it was out of this world. He performed as if that was his first time performing in like 6 months it was crazy. But that’s what I love about Hobi. He always puts all his effort into everything he does even though he might be really tired and even though BTS might have had hella schedules and events to do. He doesn’t let those things affect him and he tries his best all the time. I know that things have been really hard for Hoseok with people telling him to leave from BTS and that he was ugly which made him work even harder and placed him in a bad situation, but I would want him to know that he’s freaking amazing and he’s a born performer and I’ve never seen anything or anyone like him before. He’s truly different and I appreciate how hardworking and hopeful he remains despite having gotten stupid shit from people since his debut. Thanks for being the moodmaker of BTS and being the hope and sunshine that everyone needs every single day Jung Hoseok. I know it’s hard having to keep up with this image especially since there are times where you’re not always bright or hopeful and go through things, but you still try your best for us fans. I really appreciate and admire and love you for that. But please do take care of yourself as well because you are so important and crucial to BTS. We need you so you can continue to lead the members with the choreography and help them with the dances and advise them on what to do and not what to do or so you can keep saying funny jokes or do outrageous and silly things or freak out over things like snakes and bugs and ghosts. We need you so please take care of yourself my love.

V: Oh Tae.. oh V.. there are so many wonderful things about V I don’t even know where to start. He’s such a random and goofy and weird and ridiculous guy, but that’s what I love and appreciate about him. He’s seriously so random and does some of the most weirdest things ever or say some of the funniest things ever, but I think that’s what so unique and different about him. There’s always at least one member in every group who’s 4D and in BTS that happens to be everyone V. Just imagining what BTS would be like if V wasn’t in the group makes me sad and it just feels weird. As everyone knows, he was the “hidden member” of the group for some reason and he wasn’t exposed to the public until BTS’s debut got closer and closer. And I remember him talking about how he felt sad that he couldn’t talk to the fans or record any “logs” like how the rest of the members were doing b/c it was Big Hit’s plan to hide him until the very last second. Poor V. People didn’t even know that he existed until BTS’s debut. But now, here he is, standing on stage and performing throughout the world in different places and with different songs. I really admire him for his quirky traits and characteristics and his passion for fashion and art and music. It seems like he’s super into those things right now because he mentions about Gucci all the time or about how he’s into art and photography and it’s great seeing him be so curious and passionate about these subjects and topics. And I feel like V’s the type to devote all his time and energy into something he’s interested in which is what I admire about him (compared to me who has an attention span of like 2 seconds). Because of V, I laugh at his random and funny comments. I cry because he looks incredible on stage. I cry because he cries. And I smile because he cares and loves ARMY’s and BTS. He’s such a sweetheart. I also feel like he’s lowkey also innocent and naive but that might just be how I see him and maybe he’s not so innocent (wink wink). But yes, V is so precious and treasured and I love him to small bits. And pls, if you haven’t already listened to this song, please do yourself a favor and listen to it. Thanks.

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Jungkook: Oh no, here comes the post about the one member I don’t want to talk about. I don’t even know what to say about Jungkook or where to start with this boy. He’s so freaking extra. LIKE YOU THINK YOU KNOW OR HAVE SEEN XTRA? SIT DOWN B/C YOU HAVEN’T. Jungkook is Jungextra and he’s so ridiculous and funny at times it makes me cry and go wild and go crazy. I can’t even handle him being so ridiculous and I’m only watching him through the screen I can’t even imagine talking to him and being extra with him. It’d be so much fun tbh. But omg, Jungkook is so adorable. I feel like a proud mother having watched Jungkook grow over the years. I first saw him in the “Graduation Song” MV with Jimin and Hoseok where he was so young, still extra, and didn’t know how to express his feelings and thoughts, but now he’s grown up to be very good looking, now emitting very seductive moves and looks on stage. Like why or how did this happen? I swear two seconds ago you barely spoke and then now here you are throwing pitches at a baseball game in Japan (this will be the biggest mystery of all time tbh). Like who are you? I feel hurt. But I am so proud of Jungkook. I think he’s grown tremendously personally/individually but also professionally. 4 years ago he didn’t want to sing for any of the BTS members and would actually cry if they kept asking him to and he didn’t talk and he was really shy and bad at expressing his feelings and then somehow I swear something must have happened and now he’s talking a lot more (uncontrollably) and he’s now showing a lot more aspects of his personality and who he really is to everyone. I lowkey miss his shy and quiet personality, but I also do really enjoy how he is now acting very wild and annoying and extra. It’s quite a show. For Jungkook, I will always have a soft spot for our Maknae. I think a big part of that is having seen him as a young kid mature and grow and develop into being the mature Maknae that he is now who constantly worries about his hyungs and cares about fans. He’s grown up to be such a wonderful person and he still remains humble and kind to this day, admitting that there are still many things he needs to improve on or like how he helped clean up trash after the ISAC event. It’s little things like these that I admire about Jungkook and I hope he never changes. He’s perfect the way he is.

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(i had the hardest time picking a single photo for jimin b/c there were so many great ones i wanted to pick omg i spent so much time choosing a photo for him. i spent more time choosing a photo for him than i did on this entire post)

Jimin: I don’t really know what to say about Jimin. There are many things about him that I love and admire and appreciate. Sometimes words can’t describe or explain how I feel about him. Jimin over the years has gotten a little bit more reserved and quiet and although there are many reasons that could factor into that and although I really do miss how he used to be so explicitly silly and quirky, I still love him just as much now. I do miss his out-going and random and funny comments and personality traits and I think he’s still the same person, just not as often or explicit now which is totally okay. My little baby always feels so insecure and doubtful about himself and it pains me to see this because he’s so great at everything he does. He works so hard all the time to improve and to get better at singing, dancing, and performing among a variety of other things, but he doesn’t think he’s improving and so he stays stuck at the same place over and over again and he doesn’t see any improvement so he puts himself down and it hurts to listen to him say these things because he’s also grown so much. He puts in so much work, time, and effort into practicing and the results of all that practicing has shown and bloomed throughout the 4 years and will continue to show. In addition to his commitment and dedication into always improving and being a better version of himself than he is now, I also really appreciate just how supportive, caring, kind, and encouraging Jimin is. Countless amount of times, from BTS in AHL up to now, he’s also been the hypemaster of every BTS member. He continually supports them and compliments them and praises them (which makes sense as to why he would want the same in return). Jimin is my ultimate bias in BTS and my second bias in all of K-Pop and I remember just watching his live stage of “Lies” at the KBS Gayo Daejun and just thinking to myself like, wow, I picked the right member to stan. I made the best decision of my life by choosing Jimin as my favorite member in BTS. I was so proud watching that. His dancing has always been consistent and solid and powerful and great 4 years ago as it is now. I remember watching the special dance stage of him, J-hope, and Jungkook 4 years ago and being amazed and stunned and proud of Jimin who was getting the spotlight as main dancer of BTS in that special dance stage and then fast forward 3 and a half years later and here he is performing his solo song on an award ceremony and collaborating with legendary Taemin who also started off really young with great dancing skills. There were so many emotions I was going through when I was watching Jimin be in all these special dance collaborations and stages with other idols where he was not only getting to show his dancing talent and all the attention that came with that but he was also representing the rest of BTS and it was just a huge accomplishment and feat and I felt so proud. I always believed in Jimin’s dancing back then and I always knew he was a great dancer and I so wished for everyone else to also see that and to also notice how talented he was dancing and over the years he’s had little opportunities here and there to showcase them but the end of last year’s shows was really the one opportunity where maybe folks started to notice his dancing skills a little bit more b/c he was performing on stage with other idols and dancing to songs that weren’t BTS’s. Seeing all of this definitely just made me really proud and happy for Jimin because my baby’s dancing skills are finally being appreciated and shown to the rest of the world and he’s finally gaining recognition for something that he’s so passionate about and that I noticed since the very beginning. I know that he’s so insecure about many things, including his body and his looks and I don’t want him or the rest of BTS or anyone else to think that those things define who he is and how he should look like. I don’t want anyone making fun of him for his body and how he doesn’t have abs anymore and I don’t want him to think that way either. Sure, those things are great and are bonus points, but there are so many other things that actually matter and I am totally okay if he doesnt have abs. I actually don’t even care if he doesn’t have abs because I love him for who he is and his personality and his smile and all the other traits of him that makes up who he is. He’s so squishy and smol and talented and passionate and hard-working and he always cares about us fans as well and loves us so much and he’s just a perfect human being in my eyes. I will always have heart eyes for Jimin no matter what.

If I Could Say Anything to BTS // Dear _______,

taehyung: i know things have been a lot harder lately even though things have always been hard from the beginning. i know you try to pretend like everything’s fine so no one worries but a lot goes through your mind. i know you’ve been struggling to cope and process with your grandma’s passing and i’m so sorry my dear. my love. i know the pain. i understand the hurt. i empathize with the sadness that you’re feeling – the emptiness. i too lost my grandpa not too long ago who i also cherished and truly loved and was raised by. but i want you to know that in time things will get better. you don’t have to put up a front to act like everything’s ok if things aren’t. it’s okay to struggle; it’s okay that you’re struggling. that you’re not ok b/c sometimes you’re not always gonna be okay and that’s totally okay. take as much time as you need to yourself; to process your grandma’s passing. maybe you won’t ever be able to heal from the loss and that’s ok too. taehyung my love, you will be fine. i worry that you worry too much and is too sad and i don’t want you to be in continuous hurt. i wish for you to be happy too. just know that in time everything will be ok and everything will fall into place as it should be.

namjoon: i wish you wouldn’t blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault or is out of your control. i wish you wouldn’t be so insecure and doubtful about your skills, talents, and knowledge. i wish you wouldn’t underestimate how humble, intelligent, and creative u r. i wish you wouldn’t put yourself down and believe that you’re not a great leader. namjoon you are so much more than everything you think you are. i hope you realize how amazing and talented you are. YOU are the leader that bts needs. there are so many factors that have played a role in the success and journey of bts and your leadership is def one of them. so pls don’t discredit your role in this journey and instead give yourself some credit. i know there might be a lot of pressure for having to tackle the job of being the leader to one of kpop’s biggest boy groups who’s paving the road and foundation for many other kpop groups to follow, who continually makes history every single day. but you’re doing an amazing job at it so far and i need you to realize that. yes you might have made some mistakes in the past but you’ve grown and youve apologized and you know so much better now. bts wouldn’t be where bts is right now if it wasn’t for you who has helped with the composition and lyrics of many songs from debut up until now. you speak with such eloquence and wisdom, you always put the other members before yourself and is always thinking about them. you never want to take the spotlight so you give it to them instead. you communicate with fans all around the world and always mentions army’s where ever and whenever you can. you never forget about us but i hope that in the process of appreciating bts and army’s, you too don’t forget about yourself. b/c you play just as much of a critical and pivotal role in bts and i am so proud of you. so pls be proud of yourself as well my love.

Hoseok: Hobi you know you don’t have to always be smiling and energetic and happy if you don’t want to or don’t have the capacity to do so right? You know that just b/c your stage name is J-hope doesn’t mean that you always have to be someone’s hope or have hope yourself or believe that hope will always exist? You don’t have to carry the burden of being the moodmaker and energy of the group if that’s too much pressure on you or doesn’t accurately represent you. I hope you wouldn’t put too much weight and pressure on yourself just b/c that’s what’s expected of you and is what you’ve been doing the past 4 years since bts’s debut. it’s okay if you’re sad or mad or exhausted and if youre not always happy and energetic and hopeful. it’s totally okay. i will understand and so will others. i understand that there will be days where you won’t feel hopeful or you won’t feel happy and instead you’re gonna be sad or scared or doubtful about things. you’re probably gonna have a shitty day or something’s happened to you that makes you mad. and that’s okay. i don’t want you to stress over having this hopeful image just b/c it’s been assigned to you as if it’s something you absolutely have to do and follow and continue out everyday. b/c it’s not. you can do whatever you want and you can be whatever you want. you just being yourself – you just existing is already the hope and light to many people’s lives. you yourself is already enough my love. so please, don’t feel the pressure to be and do more than you’re already doing. you’re amazing my love.

Yoongi: i really admire you for not only your talent and passion that is clearly demonstrated in your music and performances. but i also really admire your ‘idgaf’ kind of attitude where you do whatever you want and say whatever you feel like saying. you kind of care less about how people feel and is more in tune to doing what you want or feel like doing and i admire and appreciate that about you. just knowing that you won’t change based on what people say about you b/c you know yourself more than anyone else or b/c you know that really the only opinion that matters in the end is yourself’s. i know that times have been hard especially with the past and you’ve really went through it all. you’ve worked so hard my love and you’re gonna continue to do great and amazing things. i can’t wait to witness that as i stay by BTS’s side. thank you for being such a passionate person, an intense rapper, a crazy good performer, a wacky BTS member, and for just being Min Yoongi.

seokjin: you must be really proud of your shoulders LOL. to have been born with such broad and strong shoulders and talk about them and show them off at every opportunity that you get. but that’s also the thing that i really love about you. you love yourself (even though there are times that you don’t which is totally ok) and that you are confident (vs cocky). i remember the one time where you mentioned about how it’s okay to be going through things and that you should never compare yourself to others; that just b/c someone else might also be going through things (things that are worse than yours) doesn’t mean that yours is any less significant or valid and that’s stuck out to me ever since i’ve watched that video. i live my life by that rule. since i’ve been in college i’ve practiced and emphasized on the importance of that — never invalidate yourself or your experiences. never compare yourself and your stories and experiences to anyone else’s. never think that just b/c someone else is going through rough or rougher times than you are that your issues and problems are invalid or that they don’t matter. b/c they do matter and you matter as well. so when you said that in the video, my love and appreciation for you grew so much more than it already had. in that moment i learned that you too understand this concept of validating your own experiences and existence and it meant so much to me b/c all my life i’ve always heard people tell me that i should place others before myself or ive’ heard people compare their hardships to mine and invalidate how i feel b/c they’ve gone through much worse or had it much worse than i did which made me feel bad and caused me to internalize so much negativity and perpetuate the cycle that i should always place others before me and the toxic thoughts that i dont’ matter or that i’m not going through anything difficult or challenging so i shouldn’t complain or i should just try harder. so kim seokjin, i’d like to thank you for the positive messages and words of encouragement that you continually give. they mean so much. although this one message is just one of the many wonderful messages you have given and you probably don’t even remember saying it, i still do and it honestly means the world to me to have heard from you a motto and concept that i live by and follow every single day. so thank you and thank you.

jungkook: although you are not my main bias in bts you are my second bias and i will ALWAYS have a soft spot for you. always. there’s just something about me having watched you transform from a fetus to a baby within the last 4 years and having witnessed you grow in so many ways that makes me proud and feel like i’m a mother watching her adorable little kid mature and grow and develop to be the amazing person that they were destined to be. i love how goofy you can be. i love how you always find ways to cheer the other members up. b/c you’re the youngest, you feel this pressure to impress your hyung’s and to act certain ways or to do things in a way that won’t bring any burdens onto your hyung’s. you care about them so much and you always talk about how sad you get when you see the other members sad or how much of an impact it makes on you when you see the other members beaten up and broken down. if anything this just shows how innocent and genuine and caring and kind-hearted you are. and i hope that nothing will ever cause you to change or that you will never change. i hope that you’ll stay this way for life my love. there are still so many things in life that you’ve yet to experience or to witness or know about and a part of me wants to protect you from the negativity and evil that goes on in the world b/c i don’t want anything bad to happen to you or for you to be negatively affected by anything. youre still so young and innocent and naive and have so many things to learn and have so many more ways to grow and so many more years to live and just knowing that you’ll be doing this with the rest of the bts members for the next few years warms my heart and makes me happy. thank you for always being so damn extra b/c although it can get really ridiculous it brings so much happiness and laughter into everyone’s life. thank you for always going out of your own way to make others happy and laugh and smile and feel better; thank you for always thinking about others and putting others before yourself. thank you for always being so humble and modest and admitting that you’re not great at everything (even though you really are) and for being so hardworking to improve on things that you feel you aren’t as strong in. thank you for being the maknae of the group and taking care of your hyungs. thank you for just being you jeon jungkook. you’re so precious and you must be protected at all times.

jimin: and i always save you for my last b/c you’re my first, last, and ultimate bias in bts who i will never betray and always remain loyal to but b/c you’ve claimed a spot as my second bias in all of k-pop (just after yoseob my hubby) which is a really great feat, can be difficult to accomplish, and is something that no other person has been able to do so yes park jimin, you should be proud of yourself. i don’t even know where to start with you. i first laid my eyes on you 4 years ago in the ‘no more dream’ mv and ever since then my eyes have always wandered to you and have never gone anywhere else. idk i think it was meant to be (LOL THIS IS SO CHEESY OMG BUT I GOTTA DO IT). you make me incredibly proud to be your fan, to stan you, to have chosen you as my bias in bts when there are 6 other amazing boys i could have chosen instead. but i chose you (okay i admit based on your looks and abs) after having gotten to know you better over the years and i don’t regret anything. i’m glad i chose you as my bias. i wouldn’t change anything. if i had to go back to watch the ‘no more dream’ mv like how i did four years ago and choose a bias, i would still choose you in the end. i know you have low self-esteem issues and you have a praising kink and you dont’ think that you’re good enough or don’t feel confident in yourself and it pains my heart to see this. jimin you are so great. pls tell me who were the people who made you feel this way b/c i will go and destroy them myself. i hope you receive the love and care and support and appreciation that you give to so many people. i hope you deserve all the good in this world and so much more b/c you are that worthy and important. i hope you would stop putting yourself down and stop thinking so negatively about yourself. i hope you’ll learn to love yourself in time slowly, one step at a time. i think a small draft that i wrote on my tumblr sums up how i feel about you:

dear jimin,

i hope you know you are loved. i hope you know that you are enough. i hope you know that you deserve the world and more than the world. you deserve everything. you deserve the best. you deserve happiness. laughters. smiles. tears of both happiness and joy.

it’s been about 4 years since my eyes have first laid upon you and i don’t regret anything that’s happened ever since then. my love for you from the very first time i saw you up to now has never changed. if anything, it has only grown for you even more. my love for you has strengthened and gotten louder over time.

you are so kind. and so sweet. and you care a lot. you care so much – too much maybe to the point where you become sensitive to things and you let it get to you. and i know. i know there are days that b/c you care so much about everything you struggle. and i know that b/c you care about so many things there are days that are much harder than others.

but jimin my love, do not be afraid. and do not be sad. for you are worth more than whatever people say about you. you are good enough and you will always be good enough. pls do not take to heart all the harsh and painful things people might say about you; they don’t know you like i do. they haven’t seen you in the raw and real moments like i have. they don’t even know you.

so i ask that you be strong. be strong for bts, be strong for army’s, be strong for your family and friends and for those who matter to you, but also pls, be strong most importantly for yourself. some days loving yourself will be harder than others and some days you won’t love yourself at all. there will be moments where you don’t love yourself and where all you can do is just attack yourself and put yourself down but jimin my love, i hope that on your journey to self-love and self-care and self-appreciation, you will kindly remind yourself that you are loved. that you are enough. that you are worthy. and that you are park jimin and no one can take that away from you. you are you; you are one of a kind. a star in the dark vast galaxy. the light that is ever so shining and bright.

i love you and i always will. this isn’t a farewell letter or note or anything. rather, it’s just my way of declaring my love for you in ways that i know will never reach you. but i do it anyways b/c i love you. you are precious and you are amazing.

dear jimin my love, i love you.

Everything in this letter still rings true. i love the way you smile, the way you sing, the way you dance, and yes, even the way you pull your hair back all the time with your hand. you’re so smol, so cute, but also really freaking seductive and sexy and hot at times and it drives me crazy. but it’s all these things and so much more about you that i love and appreciate. so i hope you never change and i hope you stay this way. i love you so much. so so much that sometimes words can’t describe or explain what i feel for you. i appreciate you in ways that i have never done with anyone else. you bring so much light and greatness and happiness into my life. i’m so grateful that i was able to have seen you with my very own eyes on April 2, 2017. hell, i was nervous af and i was shaking b/c i couldn’t believe that the person that i absolutely love and care and support was right in front of my eyes. but there you were right in front of me and i am truly blessed and one of the luckiest people alive to have seen you in person. i’m so grateful and blessed that i was able to be in the same place at the same time and moment as you; to have been breathing the same air you were breathing (ok that’s kind of creepy but you get what i mean) and to have heard you singing and performing to the songs that i love and listen to everyday. i am grateful to be alive. i am blessed by your existence and presence. so park jimin my love, i love you. thank you for being you. thank you for being true. thank you for being here.

 

This post took me weeks to start and complete so here is the end result — just in time for their 4th anniversary. God, it makes me surprised when I think about how it’s been 4 year since BTS’s debut. Time has passed by really fast (“time flows like stars”). The past 4 years has definitely had its up’s and down’s; the members went through a lot and had to deal with a lot shit from people and have gone through plenty of trials, errors, mistakes, failures, and even possible disbandment. It’s crazy to think about the BTS now vs. the BTS 4 years ago. Who would have known that the small BTS that debuted from a small unknown company 4 years ago who barely had the funds and money to support BTS would transform into being one of the biggest kpop groups right now setting trends and history left and right every single day? You just don’t think that’s possible because it’s rare to see a case like that nowadays in K-Pop. But for BTS, who literally placed all their blood, sweat, and tears both pre and post debut have hit the jackpot. They’re here now and they’re not gonna leave anytime soon. They were definitely rewarded for the hard work that they put into their music careers; hard work does pay off and BTS is the epitome of that.

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Even though they’ve grown so much internationally and domestically throughout the years, I think the thing about them that I love, appreciate, and admire the most about them is just that they remain true to themselves. They never forget their roots, where they came from, and the struggles and challenges they faced pre-debut. Those sad and difficult memories are the things that motivate them to keep doing the work they’re doing and to keep them grounded despite having earned such great levels of success. They understand (and worry about often) that just because they’re successful now doesn’t mean they will always be successful; everyone will fall inevitably so for now they’re just focused on enjoying the present and the moments they’re surrounded with. They know that even though they’ve become so successful and have garnered worldwide love and attention, they’re gonna stay in Korea and continue to make music in Korea because that’s where they started and that’s what where they wanna end. That’s been their formula to success. And because they know how hard they worked to get to where they are now and how precious every single second is, they cherish it and they work even harder to maintain it and to keep these moments. A lot of feelings and emotions overcome me when I think about BTS because I know just how difficult and hard things were for them and how many people didn’t believe in them and made fun of them at their debut and didn’t think they were going to make it so seeing them so successful now makes me relieved and proud and happy but also in constant disbelief and surprise. They’re doing so great and amazing and I hope they continue to remain humble and modest and kind and in the midst of all their success and precious moments of life, they never forget their roots and where they came from. But I also have hope that they won’t take this time for granted because they’ve gone through so much so they’re gonna continue to remain grateful and appreciative of everything that’s happened to them.

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To BTS, I love you all seven very very much and along with the rest of Big Hit staff, Bang PD, and everyone else at Big Hit, I want to thank you for existing and singing and dancing and making music, but most of all, for believing in yourself. For not giving up even though you really wanted to and even though times were really difficult that you did want to give up. Thank you for always working so hard even when you barely have any energy or stamina to keep you going. Thank you for always trying your hardest in everything that you do. Thank you for being you. It’s been 4 years that I’ve been with y’all and I don’t regret anything that’s happened. I’m actually grateful that I gave y’all a chance by watching the ‘No More Dream’ MV because I have experienced so much happiness ever since.

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So BTS and ARMY’s, let’s continue to stay happy together for a very long time and to keep going. It’s only been 4 years, there are still so many more years ahead of us to live and experience. Let’s never betray each other and instead keep trusting and relying on each other for support and love like how we’ve been doing the past 4 years. Just like how I wish the friendships and relationship created in BTS lasts for an eternal life, I too hope this relationship between BTS and ARMY’s will never end. This journey hasn’t always been the easiest and it won’t be easy and it probably won’t get any easier and it probably won’t ever be easy, but I have faith that you BTS will be fine and will do great and if you keep doing what you’ve been doing the past 4 years, everything will be alright. So BTS, happy 4 years. Happy 4th anniversary. Let’s keep going. Let’s keep living. Let’s keep loving. And most of all, let’s keep flying together with the wings that were given to us.

Appreciation Post: Reflection on K-Pop 2016 (+ BTS)

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As the new year progresses, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting back on 2016 and my journey throughout last year. Personally, it’s been a difficult and gruesome but nonetheless meaningful and interesting year and I’m excited to see what 2017 is going to be like.

My relationship with K-Pop has been one with ups and downs, right and left. It’s been rocky the past couple of years lately with so many things happening in my life that I just didn’t have as much time and passion for K-Pop and Korean dramas anymore which is why I wasn’t updating this blog as much as I would have liked. I see myself listening to Korean music and watching Korean dramas for quite a long time and I’m not sure if it’s just going to be another phase in my life, but the Korean entertainment industry has provided me with happiness, joy, and laughter throughout my life and it especially helped me during times when I didn’t have anything or anyone else around me which is why I have a lot of love for K-Pop and Korean dramas. This is also why I don’t see K-Pop and Korean dramas just being another phase in my life (or at least for right now). It’s been there for me for a decade now and I hope that it’ll continue to do so for the next decade. Within the past few years, there’s been a handful of groups that have debuted and a handful of Korean dramas, but only a few that have stood out to me and that I have dedicated myself to loyally. As some of y’all know, BTS and BEAST are two of my favorite groups and will always hold a special place in my heart. This appreciation post will be more for BTS than anything else, but I am grateful to many groups, moments, dramas that has contributed to my happiness and joy however small or little or however recent or old.

This post can be kind of personal too, but hey, what’s an appreciation post without being personal right? 2016 for me was a really rough year I’m not gonna lie. There were a few things that happened simultaneously that placed me in a bad position and made things really hard for me. I was struggling. I could barely take care of myself. I just wasn’t myself. It was difficult to rise up and come back and take care of myself again.

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But then, along the way, a miracle happened. And that miracle was BTS. I’ve been an ARMY since BTS’s debut on June 13, 2013 and I’ve been following them ever since up until now, but I wasn’t always up to date with them and caught up with everything they were doing. I was so busy that I didn’t always have the time to check up on them to see what they were up to. So with that, although I still loved BTS, my level of love for them wasn’t as strong as it used to be. But then with the incidents that happened in 2016, I went back to BTS. And luckily, they returned with ‘Blood, Sweat, and Tears’ at a time when I needed them the most. Not only did they come back with a great, mysterious, touching, and emotional album, they came back much more powerful and with much more for us fans. Listening to their songs gave me a lot of strength, watching their Bangtan Bombs and interviews made me laugh and made me happy. Slowly but gradually, I came back to loving myself again and I was starting to forget any hurt or anguish I was feeling. I was slowly becoming happy again all thanks to BTS. They made me forget about my worries, about my pain, about the self-love I wasn’t giving myself. And instead slowly started to make me do the opposite. They made me happy, they motivated me to also work hard, they made me want to become better, to love myself again.

Then came the end of the year award shows and BTS ended up winning daesangs and I was so happy. So proud. I’m not that good with words so what I type on here won’t ever fully express how I feel towards BTS, but these boys – I am so grateful for them. They work so damn hard without any care to receive anything in return. They are all and individually angels in their own ways. They deserve the world, they deserve so much. Whether it’s through their music, their concerts, their interviews, everything, they always put forth their best work and effort – all for us ARMY’s. As some fans have jokingly mentioned, we are so spoiled. These boys work so hard comeback after comeback, project after project, and still have time to update us and communicate with us via platforms like their social media accounts or through the V App. They love us so much and never forget to thank us or mention us in their award speeches or interviews.

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BTS might not know this, but I have a lot of love and respect for them. To be so busy, to dedicate all your time, blood, sweat, and tears into everything you do while being concerned about the outcome and results and whether people will like it or not is never an easy thing. Not knowing if you and your music is enough, not knowing if you will make it. The group has been so raw and honest with us fans more than anything else and that’s something else I really appreciate about BTS. They are always honest with us fans and don’t hide anything from us. They share with us their concerns and thoughts, they communicate with us on how they’re feeling and allow us to see their vulnerability and sensitivity. But at the same time, they always put us first and worry about us more than themselves. They don’t want us to worry about them so they pretend like everything’s fine and put on smiles even though inside they’re probably tired, probably hurting, probably breaking inside because of the countless hours of work and practice that they have to commit to. I could especially see this during the end of the year performances when they all just looked so damn tired. So damn tired. I noticed that they weren’t as energetic as they were, but they still tried to put on a good performance for their fans and for the audience. They used up any last ounce of energy they had in themselves for these performances that required so much hard work and effort and time and practice. As if all the concerts, all the activities, all the practices, all the performances prior to the end of the year award shows wasn’t exhausting, demanding, and challenging enough for them, they still had so much to do until it was the very last day of 2016.

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Watching Rap Monster’s award speech at MAMA 2016 and hearing him mention how many people hadn’t expected BTS to make it, had told them that they wouldn’t make it, absolutely broke my heart. Because while the comment is an awful truth that accurately reflects the reality of the Korean music industry that’s evolved in recent years, seeing just exactly how far BTS has come to have earned and won daesangs this year makes me so proud. Who knew that the seven-member boy group who debuted from a small unknown company in 2013 at a time when so many other groups were also doing the same would improve and grow to become popular superstars with now millions of views on their YouTube music video’s?  It’s the most ironic thing ever, but at the same time makes me so happy and proud – that they’ve come to achieving their dreams and succeeding. Nowadays, the chance of success within a music industry over saturated with hundreds of groups debuting every year is so small and slim, but BTS was the exception. BTS was that rare case of a group succeeding and it was because of their hard work, their strength, their passion, their perseverance, them. They literally started from the bottom, having gone from watching MAMA on their TV screen back at their dorms during their trainee years to performing on that huge stage and winning a daesang at the same exact grand scale award ceremony that they could only dream of performing at when they were trainees. These guys are the epitome of hard work, of goals, of success, of ambition, of love. They deserve everything in the world. They have fought hard and have earned every single win, every single fan, every single thing that they have gotten in this world. And I honestly cannot wait to see what else is in store for them in 2017. It’s taken them 3 and a half years to finally be where they are now with glimpses of success now in sight, but they’re here now and they’re not going to be going anywhere soon. Their journey has just barely started and they can only climb from here up. 3 years ago when I decided to stan BTS and became a fan of them, I just knew that they would hit it big. I just knew that they would make it big. And here they are. They have. And they’re going to keep rising.

I’m very very happy to say that I was able to get tickets to BTS’s world tour concert this year in April (after many weeks of anxiety and nervous waiting) and will be seeing them live in concert. I just can’t express my feels about seeing them live in person, but all I know is that I just can’t wait. It’s going to be great. And this is what’s going to keep me going for the rest of this year. I will be getting the chance to witness and see the seven boys who have provided me with so much happiness and life the past 3 years of my life, who has been there for me when I didn’t have much. I have so much to thank BTS for and there are so many things about them that I am grateful for. Individually and as a group, they have done so much for me and I am eternally grateful for their presence in my life. My life has been great ever since. Who would have known that the small decision to check out their ‘Graduation Song’ MV and ‘No More Dream’ MV 3 years ago would now be a decision that has led me to stan the amazing and talented group who has changed my life endlessly and effortlessly within those years?

When I think back upon my years of being an ARMY, I get emotional. Having been a fan from the very beginning and witnessing the amount of improvement and growth that these boys have gone through, they have changed immensely in all aspects. When I revisit their older music videos or when I see old clips or pictures of them, I get emotional because I know just how much they have grown over the years. And in a way, I sometimes miss the moments and times when BTS wasn’t that popular yet. When they were more than rookies but less than the trendy group they are now, when their name was known but they weren’t that big yet. I was able to keep them to myself and just enjoy the small little moments of being their fan, but now that they have grown exponentially, some things have changed (not that it’s bad or anything). It’s bittersweet in a way.

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So thank you Bangtan Boys. Thank you for all your hard work, for all that you do, for all the hours of practice, effort, passion, and love you pour into your work. You guys are wonderful at the work that you do and while I know that there are clouds of concerns, doubts, anxiety, nervousness, and worries that fill your mind, I hope y’all know that ARMY’s love you for the way you are. I hope that among this world that can be filled with negative and hurtful things, y’all find the hope and inspiration to continue being the change and radiance that this world needs. Y’all have done so much for so many the past few years and y’all will keep doing big things. Your journey has just barely started, let’s keep flying and spreading our wings for many years to come my loves.

Sources: Peppy Grace Subs @ Youtube. Credit goes to all original owners. GIFs and pictures are not mine.

An Appreciation Post for Bangtan Boys / BTS / 방탄소년단

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Since today is the birthday of a very special person who means quite a lot to me, I’d thought I’d write an appreciation post for the boy group that he belongs in and is busily but happily promoting with. I was originally going to write this appreciation post for Bangtan on my Tumblr account, but then I decided that it might be too long and no one will probably read it so I thought it’d be best to write it on this blog. So I’m back with another appreciation post and will continue to write more appreciation posts for groups and artists I believe deserve them. My first appreciation post was of my ultimate K-Pop group or the group I call ‘my boys’, B2ST / BEAST.  Next up is my second ultimate bias group who’s only barely a year old, Bangtan Boys also known as BTS also known as Bulletproof Boy Scouts also known as 방탄소년단.

*sigh* I’m already getting emotional right now just talking about them and I haven’t even seen them in real life nor have they been out for that long. Since it was just their first year anniversary a few months ago (June 13 to be exact), I was planning to write an appreciation post for them and how much they’ve changed my life, but I never got around to it, so I thought I would right now and post this appreciation post since today is Rap Monster’s birthday! YAY!

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For those of you who aren’t familiar with BTS, they’re a seven member boy group from Big Hit Entertainment who also houses other groups and artists like 2AM, Lim Jeong Hee, and GLAM. They debuted on June 13, 2013 with debut track ‘No More Dream’ and have been actively promoting ever since with other title tracks ‘N.O‘, ‘Boy in Luv‘, and ‘Danger.’  They have like 10939340562 songs out right now, including both pre-debut and debut songs (just kidding. They don’t have that many songs out, but they are constantly putting out albums and singles) which are all really good. In this post, I’ll be explaining how I became a fan (because it is the most ironic and strangest but funniest thing ever), my impressions of each member debut and now, my thoughts on their music, and overall opinion of the whole group.

So I guess I can start off with how I became a BTS fan also known as an ARMY (their fandom name). A little bit more than a year ago, when BTS had released their debut concept teasers, I didn’t like it. I honestly thought they were trying too hard to be ‘cool’ (they were apparently to cool for school) and I honestly thought they were just gonna be another wannabe hip-pop boy group putting out wannabe hip-hop songs like how many other boy groups around that time was attempting. But then one day, my cousin who’s also into K-Pop and who was unexpectedly a BTS fan told me about them and kept on spazzing to me about the MV. So then I was like, “Okay okay, I guess I’ll just check out the MV even though I didn’t like their picture teasers.” So I watched their debut MV ‘No More Dream’ and wasn’t really liking the song, but I was for sure checking out the members! Haha. The members that caught my attention were Jin and Jimin, who I honestly got kind of confused between a few times. Jin is very very handsome, although he was kind of awkward in the MV now that I go back to watch it, while Jimin was and is still the hottest thing in that MV. His smirks are to die for! GAWD. NO WONDER I FELL FOR HIM AND CLAIMED HIM AS MY BIAS. HE IS FINE AF IN THAT MV (and everywhere else). My cousin went on to tell me that her favorite members were Rap Monster (who I wasn’t attracted to) and Jungkook (who I didn’t know at that time) so I went to go check out Jungkook and found this MV and yeah, he was so adorable in that MV I was like, “Nope. Gotta claim him as my bias too.” So I kept on watching the ‘No More Dream’ MV and then pretty soon the song kept on growing on me and it became so catchy. I remember I went to L.A. when BTS debuted and the whole time I was there I just kept on listening to BTS’s debut album because all the songs on there were so so so good, lol. So I basically went from being a ‘ew-no-gawd-please-take-those-chains-off’ to ‘omg-why-you-guys-gotta-be-so-cool-and-attractive-fml-‘ person, all thanks to my cousin who couldn’t stop talking about them to me. I have a lot to thank her for, haha.

cuutteee weirdos

Regarding BTS’s music and songs, ever since their debut, they’ve always been releasing music that’s more associated with hip-hop and R&B which can be off putting to some fans, but I have no problem with it because I grew up listening to that genre so I tend to enjoy listening to their songs. I personally believe BTS’s first debut album that they put out ‘2 COOL 4 SKOOL‘ (yes, that’s what it’s called lol) is so far my favorite album, despite it containing only a few tracks. ‘No More Dream’ their debut track was not my cup of tea at first. I actually didn’t like it, but then as I continued to listen to it, I really liked it. And their choreography for the dance was insanely good and full of eye candy too (I see your abs Jimin). Then ‘We Are Bulletproof Pt. 2’ I also didn’t like, but it also grows on you as you listen to it and it makes you feel like a total bad-ass. Also, the lyrics to that song are just woah woah so so good. Like how did you guys manage to come up with song lyrics like that?! And last but not least is ‘I Like It’ which is no doubt my most absolute favorite song from BTS out of all their songs. THE CHOREOGRAPHY, THE VOCALS, THE RAP, THE BEAT, LIKE THAT WHOLE SONG IS THE PERFECT SONG. IT CONTAINS EVERYTHING. THE WHOLE PACKAGE. PERFECT. PERFECT. really. I honestly believe that my life is complete once I see BTS perform this song live. Once I see them perform my most favorite song from them with my own two eyes, I can die happily. LOL.

(MY MOST FAVORITE SONG FROM BTS. AAHHHHHHHHHHH! I will never get tired of listening to this song OTL).

I was a bit disappointed with the albums they’ve been releasing after their debut album because I’m not just as impressed with them. Whereas I really enjoyed all 3 tracks from ‘2 COOL 4 SKOOL’, in their albums after, there would only be a few tracks that I enjoy which I was honestly kind of disappointed about. To this day, I still like their debut album the best even though they’ve put out like a few albums already. I’m scared that BTS will never release another album that will top my love for ‘2 COOL 4 SKOOL’ which will make me really sad, because I know they have the potential to and I know they can. I’d have to say though that their latest and most recent album ‘Dark and Wild‘ is second in line after ‘2 COOL 4 SKOOL.’ The whole album overall is a solid listen and I enjoy almost every single track which can be quite rare to come across in K-Popland.

ot7forever thisonescute

As we all know, being a fan doesn’t mean that you have to love every single thing about the group and with regards to BTS, there is one thing that I really hope will change. I’ve already ranted about this a few posts back, but one thing that I absolutely cannot stand in BTS’s songs are the line distributions which are mostly uneven. The three rappers get their own time to rap which I like, but then when it comes to singing, all you hear is Jungkook and this kind of pisses me off because Jin, V, and Jimin are all great singers as well and they deserve so much more lines and time to sing. I hope that BTS will change their songs up a bit in that there are better equal line distributions for everyone and a change in the arrangement of the members’ lines (the rappers usually rap in the order of Rap Monster, Suga, and then J-Hope. This can get tiring after a while). Here’s to hoping they’ll change things up~

Some of you guys might be reading this right now and might be totally confused about who is Rap Monster and who is V and who is J-hope so I’ll take this time to introduce each member, my first impressions of them, and how I feel about them now after more than a year of being a fan. Let’s go!

wavingbye

This man right here is Rap Monster (but don’t worry, his real name is Kim Namjoon). Honestly, I didn’t really care for Rap Monster when I first saw him in ‘No More Dream.’ I don’t really have any interest in rappers in the first place (as good as they are at rapping though) and to me, Rap Mon just wasn’t attractive or charming. However, as time went on and I became a bigger fan of BTS, I got to know Rap Monster a lot more and now I have this whole new look and perspective of Rap Mon, especially after watching his episode of Mnet’s 4 Things Show where he talks about being an idol and an underground rapper. I never really cared for him before I watched that show, but after I watched it, I started to like him a lot more. I can tell that Rap Monster feels very conflicted about being an idol because he used to be an underground rapper and as many know, underground rappers like to criticize idol rappers because they believe that idol rappers are just puppets who don’t have any skills at rapping. It makes me sad to see Rap Monster struggle between living both the idol and underground life; it’s as if he doesn’t enjoy the idol life as much and that breaks my heart. I also started to appreciate him so so so much more when I heard the rumors about how he apparently had heart problems when he was younger and had to undergo surgery with a 30% chance of surviving (there are pictures to prove it, but I’m too lazy to go find it, lol). Knowing that he only had a 30% chance of survival, but still managed to make it out alive makes me admire him so much more because look at what he has grown up to become. He’s now the leader of an amazing and up and coming boy group who is slowly dominating the Korean music industry and getting to travel to many different places with this boy group such as Sweden, Brazil, and the United States. Rap Monster does a lot for the group, writes really insightful and thought-provoking lyrics, and is always constantly trying his best at everything (especially dancing since he’s kind of weak in that department, haha). I don’t ever see him becoming my bias in BTS, but I do see myself continually being amazed at his rapping skills (which are like on another level and if you don’t trust me just listen to this) and his personality and his weird face expressions when he’s dancing. Below are some GIFs that might make you question why I love BTS but it’s okay, I ask myself that too every single day. And I have come to accepting that I love them for being the weird, goofy, random, and silly people that they are.

LOLRAPMON  sometimesAISHFUCKTHIS rapmonrunninglikeagrandpa

Let’s take the time to acknowledge the fact that Rap Monster runs like a grandpa (which is totally okay you know?). And that he makes the best face expressions ever, especially when he’s “dancing.” Gotta love Rap Monster (:

FUCKYOURESOPRETTY shitjinpleasehavemercy

(PLEASE JIN. HAVE MERCY).

You’re probably wondering who this very very very pretty man is. Well everyone, this guy is none other than BTS’s oldest member or the princess Hyung of the group Jin (but don’t worry – his real name is Kim Seokjin). I still remembered how I felt the very first time my eyes laid upon him and I just thought to myself, man, this kid is ridiculously handsome. WHAT’S HIS NAME?! HOW OLD IS HE?! HE’S THE VISUALS AIN’T HE?! Lol. The very first time I saw Jin, I immediately thought he was handsome. He ain’t ranked first in visuals from the other members of BTS for nothing. Haha. He was one of those members that stood out to me when I watched the ‘No More Dream’ because of his looks. Not only is he good looking, but he also cooks for the group (he’s like the Mom of the group) and he takes great care of the members. As for talents, Jin might be weak in both the singing and dancing department, but knowing the kind of person that Jin is, I won’t be surprised if a few years down the road, he gets a lot more lines (than he already does which isn’t a lot lol). Overall, I like Jin – there’s just this really friendly, welcoming, nice, and innocent aura that I get from him and I just feel like he would be a very fun and great person to be around.

Because having just one GIF and picture of him is not enough, here are a few more.

JINSERIOUSLY  whatareyoudoingknockingoutlike

(DON’T LET HIS PRETTY FACE TRICK YOU. THIS KID IS ALSO A WEIRDO like all the other members).

datsquishysmile ifhestaredatmelikethat iwoulddie jindabaeSOPRETTTYYYYY

(SAVING THE BEST PICTURE FOR LAST).

LOOKATHIMHELOOKSLIKEALITTLEBOY

Now this little boy here is SUGA. Yes, Suga. But don’t worry, his real name is Min Yoongi. Suga. He thinks he has swag when really all he does is just sleep and eat and when he’s not eating or sleeping he’s working on his music in the recording studio. So much swag Suga, so much swag. -sigh- It’s sad to say this, but Suga (along with Rap Monster) are the two members that I care the least about in BTS. why do i feel so bad saying that? LOL. I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a bad person. I do think he’s a good rapper and he’s a funny guy and he’s not bad at dancing and he’s cute, but there’s really nothing about him that captures my interest or makes me captivated. I have yet to find something about him that makes me genuinely attracted to him (that doesn’t mean that I don’t like him though. Don’t misunderstand. I like him, but I prefer the other members). He’s cute, very passionate about music, and a very talented person, as evident with his amazing songs that he’s composed for BTS- ‘Tomorrow‘ and ‘Let Me Know.’ Give them a listen if you haven’t yet; They will definitely not disappoint! I’m quite sad that there’s no live performance of ‘Tomorrow’ yet because I would do anything to see them perform that amazing song, but even without a live performance, ‘Tomorrow’ is an amazing song with a great message. HECK, THEY’RE BOTH AMAZING.

I might not care for Suga as much as I do for the other members, but I can’t deny that there’s a Suga GIF for certain moments in your life:

When you’re so embarrassed to death and you can’t speak or explain your feelings in words so you’re just like:

sugaisembarrassed

When you’re so happy and excited words cannot explain how you feel:

sugawhatyoudoingsuga

When you really like something and approve of it:

sugaapproves

See what I mean?

HEREHAVESOMESUGA

jhopeeeeeeee

Next up is J-Hope (but don’t worry, his real name is Jung Hoseok) AKA everyone’s ball of sunshine. He likes to call himself J-Hope because well…he’s a very optimistic and hopeful person (we need more people like him honestly) and because he’s a very positive person so he remains our hope in everything. Haha. I would say that after Jimin and Jungkook who are my biases, J-Hope would rank as my third bias. He is just so lovable, I don’t understand how anyone could hate him. Kid is always smiling and laughing and so cheerful and jumpy and crazy and weird and insane and talented and underrated I don’t know how anyone could hate him. If there was one member I would say is underrated in BTS, it would definitely be J-Hope. He’s a very talented guy, but gets overshadowed by the other members. He’s a rapper, but so are Rap Mon and Suga and those two are the main rappers of BTS, so J-Hope never gets enough credit for his rapping. J-Hope’s a great dancer, but in the choreography, it’s always either Jungkook or Jimin that’s being focused on so you never know how good J-Hope is as a dancer so therefore he never gets enough credit for that either. *sigh* Poor J-Hope. Guy is talented in both rapping and dancing, but never gets acknowledged enough for it. Like I mentioned earlier, J-Hope loves to make everyone laugh. He’s always so energetic and optimistic and funny. He likes to make jokes and likes to joke around, it’s hard not to like him. It’d be hard to imagine what BTS would be like without J-Hope because he’s always the one that cheers everyone up. You know how in every group there’s always that one person that sets the mood AKA the mood maker? In BTS, it would definitely be J-Hope. How could one NOT love J-Hope, especially after seeing this video? It’s just impossible.

jhope1 jhope2 jhope3 jhope4

LOOK AT ALL THESE SMILES. LOOK! LOOK AT IT! I wasn’t lying when I said he was hopeful. He’s literally a ball of sunshine and our rays of hope.

gorgeousjhopehewasoscuteduringthispartlolhahailikejhopeyyyMUAHsomuchprettyjhopeyyupthisishoseokjhopeyyyyyyjusthavetosavethisphoto

More GIFs and photos that further prove my point. But don’t let these happy and beautiful and stunning photos trick you! J-Hope is the best person with the best face expressions. BEST I SAY.

When your sister asks you about something and you’re not sure what she’s talking about so you’re just like:

whoareyou

When you watch a scary movie and there’s a scary pop-up scene:

scaredjhope

When your OTP isn’t sailing as smooth as you want it to:

OMFGNOWAY

When you get kidnapped with your family by strangers while waiting in the car:mewhenit'snotjikook

When you see your bias’s beautiful face and you can’t contain your feels:

:mewhenistareatjimin'sface jhopelovesyou

When you see something you didn’t want to see and disapprove of it:

hoseok

And here’s just a few more J-hope because we all need more of him in our lives:

DAYUMJHOPE madjhope

I TOLD YOU J-HOPE MAKES THE BEST FACE EXPRESSIONS EVER. Thank goodness for his existence!

thenhecanbelikesuperadorableI'MV

Now this adorable boy is V (why is he called V? I don’t know, but what I do know though is that you shouldn’t worry because his real name is Kim Taehyung). V is known to be the lovechild of B.A.P.’s Daehyun and EXO’s Baekhyun, but I ain’t complaining. I actually think he looks like them too. Anyways, V is known to be the weirdest and 4D member of the group. He picked up a kelp at the beach once and asked for its name. I mean, there’s nothing totally weird or strange about that right? LOL. V is super funny though, no doubt. Because he’s so 4D and because he’s so into his own world, he does all these crazy and weird and random things. As for his position in BTS, I would describe him as the member that’s kind of average / decent in everything. He’s not good at dancing, but neither is he bad at it. And he’s not good at singing, but he’s also not exceptional at it. As for what I like about V, I love how he’s very out-going and social. He doesn’t hold back on expressing his feelings or thoughts; he’s rather quite unreserved and I think that’s a great characteristic. If you watch him in BTS’s new reality show ‘American Hustle Life’, he often approaches strangers and starts a conversation with them so easily (something which I would have a very hard time doing). V’s just one of those guys that are also cheerful and bright which makes him very cute and lovable too. I too don’t see him ever becoming my bias in BTS, but I do like him and his personality. Sometimes his weird personality makes me like him more than I should and it’s not a good thing because he’s not even my bias in the group. I don’t want any bias wreckers now.

Like how it is with the other members, there’s a V GIF for every moment in life:

When someone makes fun of you so you tease them back like:

seriouslylol

When your mom calls your other siblings to do the chores instead of you:

vishappy

When your mom calls you instead of your siblings to do the chores:

v is fed up with yo shit

When you want to know your friend’s secret so you’re just like:

seewhatimeanwhenisayhe'sweirdlol

When you find out that your bias is in a scandal:

omg really

When you have to do aegyo to prove to people that you’re cute but they don’t believe you so you’re just like:

v1 v2

Then as if that wasn’t enough, you prove to them that you’re not just cute, you’re FAB:

v3 v4

evenmorefabv  fabvfabulous

When you’re talking to your sister / friend about guys and she teases you about your crush:

goawaayyyy hahahehe ehehehehethecutest

When you react as fast as a ninja:

OHSHIT OHSHITNOT

When you’re surrounded by too many hot people and you can’t handle it:

OMGGGGGSTOPPPP

When you approve of something:

vapproves

When you disapprove of something:

vdoesn'twantto visnotpleasedyou'reweird

And here are just a few extra GIFs of biaswrecker V:

verycutevverycute  hahaha kekekei'msoshyyesthisisv

(yes, that’s him running about on an empty street)

Even though these GIFs might show the true nature and personality of V, the pictures below show the rare and infrequent sides of V that we don’t get to see too often so cherish them now while you can!

awwlookatthatsmile sadness vv

woahwoahwoahv

VVVVVVVV

(This is the most attractive I’ve seen him yet honestly. It should be illegal for him to have that towel with him. New OTP = V  x towel.

awwwwjiminnieissosquishyawwwwwwwwww squeals

UGH UGH UGH ugH Ugh uGH uGh. It’s PARK. JI. MIN. NUFF SAID. Lol. I’m not gonna write about Jimin in this post, because he’s my second ultimate bias so he deserves an appreciation post of his own. I’ll write a post about him on his birthday (which is in October) so look out for that when it gets closer to October. The post is going to be rather quite long too because that guy gives me so many damn freaking feels so be ready for lots of spazzing and compliments. Hehe. If there’s anything you need to know about Park Jimin, it’s that I love him alot and that I sometimes think about how I want to marry him when I get older. LOL.

ffuuckkkkk

HE LOOKS SO COOL! OMG.

ENOUGH TEASING. LET’S MOVE ON TO OUR LAST MEMBER.

jungkookie

Last but not least is Jeon Jungkook, the golden Maknae who can dance and sing and rap (triple threat!). He’s also my bias in BTS along with Jimin, but sadly I think Jimin is stealing that number one spot. -sigh- What do I have to say about this guy? Jungkook is very handsome and talented despite being so young. I really liked him because he was just so adorable, especially after watching this MV (it was before they debuted too which makes everything even more adorable). Once I saw that MV, I immediately fell for Jungkook and ever since then he’s been my bias in BTS along with Jimin. Like I mentioned earlier, Jungkook is a lead dancer in BTS, but I think compared to J-Hope and Jimin, he’s weaker than them at dancing. I honestly sometimes feel like BTS makes him out to be a better dancer than he really is. That’s not to say that he’s not a good dancer because he is, but I sometimes get frustrated to see him be the main focus in their choreography dances when J-Hope and Jimin are much stronger dancers. I also feel like Big Hit is trying to make Jungkook the focus and visual of BTS which also frustrates me because I would like to see the 6 other members and I think the position of visual should belong to Jin only. LOL. I know I know, this isn’t Jungkook’s fault, but still, I think he’s being promoted too heavily and that’s another thing that irks me about Bangtan. But I stan him because he is so freaking cute and adorable. YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY CUTE AND ADORABLE?! YOU JUST WAIT FOR THEM GIFS BELOW. JUST WAIT. BUT FOR NOW, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT WHO I SHIP OUR MAKNAE WITH AND WHY.

I’ve never felt strongly about male x male OTPs nor female x female OTPs or even male x female OTPs, but damn, DAYUM, in all my ten years of K-Pop have I ever shipped an OTP as strongly, obsessively, crazily, insanely, and passionately as I have with Jimin and Jungkook AKA the best freaking OTP in not only Bangtan but all of the world – Jikook. I might make a post of my own as to why I ship them (it’s going to take a while because I suck at describing and explaining myself in words) and why they’re my most favorite OTP in the whole entire world, but I will one day. I will. For now, these pictures & GIFs shall be enough.

Look at the way Jungkook helps his Hyung put on his glasses and the smile he has on his face while doing so. He’s like teaching Jimin how to become and look cool like him. “Hyung, put on these glasses. That way you’ll look cool and handsome just like me. You might grow a bit taller as well.”

AWWWTHISISADORBS

JUNGKOOK SITS ON JIMIN’S LAP LIKE IT’S A TOTALLY NORMAL THING because it probably is.

cropjikook

THEY SHARE SNACKS AND EAT TOGETHER.i'mhappytonighthehe jungmin

(THEY STRETCH TOGETHER).

THEY POSE WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY’RE GREAT FRIENDS AND ARE LIKE BROTHERS TO EACH OTHER. LOOK AT THEIR BEAUTIFUL SMILES. OH GAWD. MY OTP SHIPPER HEART. I cannot stay calm. you can clearly see how crazy i am about this OTP.theylooksobeautifulcries

LOOK AT JUNGKOOK PATTING HIS FAVORITE HYUNG’S BUTT AND BOOTY. LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS! /squeals. And the best thing is that Jungkook is all happy too.

touchinghisass wut

K so here is how I started to ship them. Originally they were my two biases in the group, but then I couldn’t decide on who to like more so then I was just like, why not ship them together?! If I can’t have Jimin and I can’t love Jungkook, then they can have each other. And that’s how I came about to shipping Jikook. I know that many times it might seem like Jungkook doesn’t like Jimin and that Jimin’s love & support for Jungkook is one-sided, but I think it’s just that Jungkook doesn’t like to show his love for Jimin on camera. Jungkook’s admitted that he goes to Jimin whenever he’s in stress and he needs someone to talk to. They even have couple shoes! LOL. I think he admires Jimin and cares for him just like how Jimin cares for Jungkook. It’s just that a lot of it is never caught on camera (damn it!). Jungkook is super adorable and I think he’s a great singer too. Love love love his voice ❤

thewaytheyareateachotheromgdaotpOOTTTTPPPPPjikookkiss

(HOW CAN YOU NOT SHIP THEM?! LIKE THEY’RE SO CUTE TOGETHER. DAMN. (Jikook’s the name of the ship btw. Jikook. Remember that.). If you don’t ship Jikook, then I don’t know what you’re doing with your life honestly. I mean, even Jungkook approves of the Jikook ship.

ILIKETHAT

He likes this ship yo. He loves it. He supports it. Now it’s your turn to do the same. SHIP JIKOOK WITH ME MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

Anyways, back to Jungkook, if there’s one word I would use to describe Maknae, it would be uninnocent (wait, is that even a word?) adorable. ADORABLE. ADORBS. He makes the cutest and most adorable face expressions without even trying or noticing. Like these ones!

adorbs cluelessjungkook jk1 jk2 jk3 jk4 jungkookandthefly  jungkookieee

WATCH OUT. WE HAVE A WALKING DINOSAUR. HEHEHE.

jungkookwalkinglikeadinosaur

Uhhh Jungkook, what are you doing with your arms?

jungkookwutudoingbaby     sweatyjungkook whatacutie yepthisismaknae

LOOK AT HOW CUTE HE IS STICKING HIS TONGUE OUT LIKE THAT?! PLS JUNGKOOK. FOR THE SAKE OF OUR LIVES – STOP!

stretchinglike

Let me ask you a question, have you ever seen anyone stretch as cute as that? That’s right, I didn’t think so.

LOLareyoufilmingme

methisweekendjungkookapprovesjungkookdisapprovesohwhythankyoujungkook

(Aw, why thank you Jungkook for the flower. Hehe.)

.jungkookandhiscoffee

No one has ever made drinking coffee look so attractive and fun before until Jungkook appeared. And this picture proves it all.

LORDJUNGKOOKHAVEMERCY

PLS JUNGKOOK, YOU’RE ONLY 17. HAVE MERCY PLS. YOU’RE NOT EVEN LEGAL YET. YOU CAN’T BE THIS HOT.

prettyjungkook

(LOOK AT HIM. ISN’T HE SO CUTE?! ALL WRAPPED UP AND HIDING IN HIS SCARF LIKE THAT!

classysnob

(Kid is apparently a classy snob too. Yep, a great one at that).

We can’t forget about his beautiful smile too can we?!

jungkookiesmiling jungkookie SOSQUISHYANDCUTE jungkookjungkook

cananyonebeanycuterdon'tdoaegyojeoncheeeseeeehappyprettymaknaejungkook

Jungkook’s smile is one of my most favorite things in the world. He’s got a smile that could light up a whole town.

cuties

If you still haven’t gotten the whole point of this appreciation post by the time you’re reading this, then…well, I don’t know what to say to you. Lol. All in all, I love BTS a lot and it’s never taken such a short amount of time for me to be so in love with a group before. I remember watching all their live performances when they debuted with ‘No More Dream’ and just being so caught up with all their promotions and activities. My anticipation for them might have died down a bit, but these boys have really changed my life for the better. Their songs give me life, their personalities make me happy, their presence itself has made a big impact on my life. And I’m so grateful that I gave them a chance (that’s why I’m always a bit more welcoming and nice towards rookie groups, lol. Thanks to Bangtan). They’re always so kind to their fans, updating us with videos on Youtube and reality shows displaying their goofy and silly personalities.  I can’t thank these guys enough for all that they have done not only for me but for all the other ARMYs out there. All 7 members are really great and wonderful people who try their best to remain humble, kind, and respectful.

IMG_2025

This was when they visited Suga in the hospital who was being treated for appendicitis. Lol, look at them taking pictures of Suga in the hospital. And omg Rap Monster’s face. Hahaha.

staybeautifulmyboys theirfacesdoe bangtanapproves  perfectlysumpsupbts thebabes thisisbangtan WOOAAHHHHthisonescutetoo ihopeyouguysalwaysalwayssmiletoocute

To Bangtan Boys, if there’s anything I would like to say to you guys, it would be that you guys have made such a huge positive impact on my life. Huge. I will always stick behind you guys as a fan and never abandon your side, no matter what. I hope that you guys will grow in the future and become better than you already are right now omg i wanna cry just writing this right now lol. I hope you guys never stop laughing, never stop smiling, never stop doing what you love doing. Please continue to stay humble, passionate, amazing, hard-working, and respectful like the way you guys are doing right now. I pray that you guys will always remain safe and healthy. And most of all, more than anything, I hope that the seven of you are happy, both individually and together as a group. I love you guys and I wish you guys the best of luck in the future. No amount of ‘thank you’s’ will be enough to express just how grateful and thankful I am to have people like you guys in my life. You guys, Bangtan Boys, will always be my babies 🙂

ALL GIFS AND PICTURES DO NOT BELONG TO ME. CREDIT TO RIGHTFUL OWNERS.

An appreciation post for my ultimate bias group, BEAST / B2ST~

My favorite K-Pop group in all of K-Pop, B2ST / BEAST, won #1 on KBS’s Music Bank on its July 4’s episode. The day that they won also happens to be the same day that BEAST’s very own leader Yoon Doojoon’s was born! Doojoon was born on July 4, 1989 so I guess you can say that BEAST’s win on Music Bank is Doojoon’s birthday gift. Hehe.

I’m super proud of the boys for putting on such great and energetic live performances despite the difficult and complicated choreography that is by far their hardest choreography yet for any of their title tracks. Every time I watch them perform, I am just amazed at how flawless they are and this is only through my laptop screen. I can’t even imagine how I’ll react when I see them live at concert one day. Lol. Recently, MBC’s Music Core announced that they will be banning any lip syncing on their music program and that the performers will have to sing live. To some groups, this might seem like a concern, but since I stan B2ST, I’m not worried at all about their live performances because I know they are capable of pulling off live performances. And plus, even my husband Yoseob stated that he hates lip syncing. Haha. In addition, on last week’s Music Core and Inkigayo, my boys slayed by achieving the maximum amount of points that can be earned (AKA a PERFECT score), with my boys getting the maximum 10,000 points on Music Core and 11,000 points on Inkigayo. Do you know how proud I am as a B2UTY of nearly 4 and a half years? I really did choose the right group to stan and the best fandom to join.^^

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As you can see, these pictures provide proof that BEAST achieved a perfect score on last week’s episode of Inkigayo with 11,000 points. SLAYING EVERYONE SINCE 2009. (Love San E’s reaction too. Hahaha).

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These two pictures here support BEAST’s win on Music Core where they achieved a maximum score of 10,000 points. They are now ranked first among all the winners on Music Core with the most amount of points and the only group being able to have gotten a perfect score.

Of course their win would not have been possible without the support of many loyal and amazing B2UTIES. I’m so proud to be in this fandom. To all my B2UTY sisters and brothers, I just want to give you guys a shout-out and say that I love you guys! Let’s continue to support our boys in the future~

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(B2UTIES prepared this for BEAST at this year’s Dream Concert. OMGAHHHH. Look at how beautiful this is).

Below are just a few more GIFs of the amazing grey ocean of an amazing fandom I am proud to say I am a part of. B2UTIES and B2ST forever!

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July 4th is also BEAST’s very own leader and oldest member Doojoon’s birthday so I just wanna take the time to celebrate his birthday and tell him how much I love him. In the beginning of BEAST’s debut, he had to miss out on some of BEAST’s promotions to promote BEAST by going on different shows. Although he was absent in some of BEAST’s activities at a time where it was the most crucial for BEAST because they had just debuted, were only a few months ago, and were trying to get their name out there, he missed promotional activities and schedules with BEAST just so he could promote their group by going on shows. Despite all of this, Doojoon was able to get BEAST’s name out there eventually with his great work ethics, respectful and humble personality, and funny variety skills. He’s now even one of the more well-known and popular members in the group.

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I have to admit that there was a point where I didn’t see Doojoon as a great leader or I questioned his leadership abilities, but I have come to realizing that Doojoon many of the times just doesn’t explicitly show his leadership skills, but the group members do depend and rely on him a lot. There are many instances where Doojoon cares for the members and treats them as if they’re his brothers from another mother. Last year when baby Dongwoon got his hand burnt by fire at a concert BEAST held last year, Doojoon was the first one to notice and care for him. I was so touched seeing that it made me realize that Doojoon is a great leader, but it’s just that he’s not the type to boast about his role or position in the group. Most of the time he likes to stay in the back and just watch over his members quietly, always putting them first and before him. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t easy having to lead a group with five other members who all were known as rejects and failures in the beginning of their debut. He had a lot weight on his shoulders and he probably felt really stressful and pressured to lead them well so that BEAST would not fail and become successful. Fast forward four years and look at where they are now. BEAST has now risen to become one of the most talented and well-known groups in K-Pop when they were mocked as the ‘Recycled Group’ back when they first debuted. My boys have come a long way and part of it was because of Doojoon’s leadership and hard work.

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I had the honor of watching and recapping ‘Let’s Eat’ where our very own Doojoon played the male lead Goo Dae Young. He was praised and acknowledged by many for his natural acting skills and I have to add that he did a great job in the drama. It wasn’t easy either because he was carrying the drama as the male lead, but Doojoon, to the very end, continued to portray Dae Young in such a comfortable and genuine way the drama was able to end on a good note. Good job Doojoon! You’re one of the better idol actors~~~

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I can only hope that BEAST will stay together for a very long time and that Doojoon will continue to care for the members and lead them well. He has done a great job at that the past four years I know he will be able to keep doing it the next few years. I’m glad that he’s in BEAST, because it definitely would not be the same without him (or any of the other members). Happy Birthday once again Yoon Doo Joon. You were born on this day to become a great person and you have indeed because you have changed, saved, and inspired the lives of many people around the world. Thank you for existing ❤

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I will be ending this BEAST appreciation post with a few GIFs of the boys acting all silly and weird. I sometimes wonder why I stan these boys, but I know that in the end, they make me happy and that it’s all worth it. BEAST and B2UTIES forever! <3333

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(LOL AT HYUNSEUNG BEING THE ONLY NORMAL ONE).

(credit: beastdw @ tumblr, dyodaisy @ tumblr, jang-hyunseung-addict @ tumblr, junsenpai @ tumblr, kkeutt @ tumblr, kneelbeforemistressphil @ tumblr, ihaveathingforbeast @ tumblr, ohmyleader @ tumblr)

(ALL GIFs ARE NOT MINE. CREDIT TO WHOEVER THEY BELONG TOO).